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About twenty years ago my husband...

From the March 1984 issue of The Christian Science Journal


About twenty years ago my husband and I decided that we wanted to have a child. After quite some time had passed and I hadn't conceived, my husband, who is not a Christian Scientist, asked me to go to a doctor to have some tests made. I went first to a general practitioner. When he didn't find anything wrong, he recommended a specialist. After months of testing, the specialist also concluded that nothing was wrong, saying that I should just try to relax about the situation.

After this reassuring news I was very confident that I would conceive. But as the months passed and there was no change, I became very depressed. I felt that my life was without meaning or purpose. The problem seemed all-encompassing; it was all that I thought about. I would even wake at one or two o'clock in the morning to pace the floor. While I did make attempts to study the Bible, and the textbook, Science and Health by Mrs. Eddy, I couldn't concentrate and would eventually find myself on the same treadmill asking, "Why? When? Why not?"

One morning during one of these sessions I realized that I was going to have to stop this. "How?" I asked. "How can I possibly climb out of this pit of self-pity and despair? How can I learn whatever I need to learn of God and follow His direction in my life?" The answer came in the words of Christ Jesus (Matt.11:29, 30): "Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me . . . . For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

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