In 1965 I had hepatitis and spent three months in a hospital. I was released with the instruction to keep to a strict diet and not to tax myself too much.
Three years later I felt very tired and listless, and the doctor told me that I should go to the hospital for a few weeks for a thorough examination. I did so. During one examination I sustained internal injury. Consequently, I had to spend another few months in the hospital. This was immediately followed by three weeks in a sanitarium, then eighteen months at a specialized clinic, and later another six months at a clinic.
All this happened at a time when I was preparing to undertake theological studies. I had a lot of time for reflection. I found myself asking, "Why is such a thing happening to me? What did I do to deserve this?" As a result, I had problems believing in the God that was being presented to me in theology. One of the hardest things was to believe in a God who punishes. I wondered if things had turned out so severely in my case because God was punishing me.
