In early 2000, while on business trips, I began using my laptop computer to access pornographic websites in secret. I never paid any money, but I knew I was violating the Seventh Commandment by committing adultery in my heart (see Ex. 20:14). I tried to justify my actions by saying that I wasn't giving the site owners any money, and I wasn't using my employer's Internet access to log on to these sites.
Soon, I realized that I was spending more and more time on these immoral sites, and less and less time fulfilling my business obligations. I'd begun evaluating the physical characteristics of every woman I saw. This tendency was keeping me from appreciating these women on a deeper, more spiritual, level. I know both of these effects could be harmful, but I seemed to be addicted to this materialistic view of women.
One day, my wife discovered what I had been doing. Her emotional pain at discovering my transgressions was severe. Suddenly, she was wondering what I was thinking whenever we encountered an attractive female. She became greatly concerned about my mental loyalty to her when I left for business trips. When I saw the pain my actions were causing my wife, it became clear to me just who this addiction was hurting.
