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'I WAS IN A VERY DARK MENTAL PLACE ...'

DEPRESSION HEALED

From the December 2006 issue of The Christian Science Journal


Due to the sensitive nature of the following testimony, the author's name has been withheld.

DESPERATE STRAITS. I had been laid off in 2000 when my employer outsourced the work I'd been doing in the computer field. As I looked for employment, I soon came to the realization that my computer skills hadn't kept up with advancements in IT (information technology). Along with that situation was a longstanding fear that I had a condition called adult ADD (attention-deficit disorder). I was always distracted and anxious, and I was sure this lack of focus had cost me several jobs along the way. Faced with a large family, mounting bills, and a deteriorating sense of self-worth, there was no place to go but down. When I called a Christian Science practitioner, I was considering taking my own life.

With calm assurance, the practitioner told me that I only had to be like that faithful sheep in the 23rd Psalm—obeying God's command to "not want" but to trust in God's loving and shepherdlike leadings. She spoke with such conviction that I considered the possibility that God had a place for me, too; that maybe I could actually live "in the house of the Lord," as the Psalm promised. But I was still deeply concerned that I would never get out of poverty and the chaos that surrounded me. I was in a very dark mental place and still didn't know if I could live a life worth living.

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