HAVE YOU HEARD THE ANECDOTE about the monkey who found a hole in a coconut just big enough to put his hand in? As he did, he discovered something inside and wrapped his fingers around it. But then he couldn't get his hand out, because holding onto the treasure, his hand became a fist—too large to remove from the hole. This was the monkey's dilemma: Hang onto the treasure and be stuck in the coconut, or let go of the treasure and be free.
That story reminds me of an account in the New Testament, which maybe we could say is a variation on the coconut theme. A wealthy man came to Jesus and asked him what to do to inherit eternal life (see Mark 10:17–22). Jesus answered that the wealthy man should follow the Ten Commandments (see Exodus 20:3–17). The man told Jesus that he was already living in alignment with them: Don't commit adultery, don't kill, don't steal, don't lie, don't cheat, and honor your father and mother.
Then came the clincher. Jesus said, "Sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me." But this rich guy couldn't do it, and he walked away "grieved." He apparently felt that he just couldn't let go of his material possessions to follow Jesus.
So often we have to be willing to let go of some treasure before we can go forward.
Spiritual progress is a lot like that. So often we have to be willing to let go of some treasure—something we've come to trust or love more than God—before we can go forward as individuals, as families, as churches. The treasure that anchors us in the past might be material wealth or someone's thoughtless word we don't want to let go of that made us angry or hurt. Maybe the "treasure" is a way of doing something that worked ten years ago that's no longer relevant today. Or maybe we can't let go of the tendency to glorify or revel in the past. For example, a woman might glory in the memories of her exciting career before marriage and family. A man might glory in the former joy of starring on his university sports team. A church might glory in its active membership of 40 years ago. Yet, clinging to past glory is just as insidious as clinging to past unhappiness. Both restrict the vitality and promise of the present. But we find ourselves clinging to it because, like an old suit of clothes, it feels comfortable.
When my husband, Pete, passed on after 38 years of marriage, I felt that not only had a great companion stepped out of my life—Pete was consistently gentle and considerate, had a great sense of humor, and was known as a peacemaker—but also someone who was an expert in problem solving and fixing technical things.
Yet I knew from previous experience that any pull to the past would be destructive to my own progress and happiness. I had a choice: live in the "now," or be like the monkey and be stuck grasping for that something called "the past." I realized that I didn't have to leave the happy memories of my husband behind in order to embrace my new life and recognize all the good in the present. Because every bit of good we've experienced in the past originated in God and carries over into the glorious now.
I learned soon after my husband's passing that I could feel safe by leaning on God, divine Love, every time I felt a tinge of emotion about Pete or wondered what to do. Like so many couples who have spent years together, Pete and I had special jokes and great conversations, and suddenly those familiar times weren't possible. So whenever I thought of something I would have shared with him, I took it straight to God. And I just left it with Him. I deeply believe that my husband is going forward with his own life, with all the love and joy and vitality that defined him here. And I am progressing, too.
I've discovered that moment by moment we make the decision to live in the present. And so I frequently ask myself, "What can I give up or put behind me right now, so I can more fully see and experience God's love—more of the infinite goodness of His universe?"
