FREE OF CHEST PAINS AND FEAR OF FLYING

AS I SAT DOWN at the beginning of my train trip to London, my eye caught a safety notice that read: "Your guard is here to help. There is a guard on all our trains to give help and Information during your journey." As the words guard and God are pronounced the same in England, the notice was thought provoking. I was captivated by the idea that here was a public notice reminding me that: "Yes, God does exist and is right here to help guide and keep safe both me and everyone else travelling on the train."

I was reminded of a special occasion when I received absolute proof of the truth of this statement. About 12 years ago, I experienced some serious difficulties relating to my previous employment as a partner in a London law firm. One of our employees had handled a transaction badly and a claim was brought against the firm for more than £4 million. The client, a bank, had obtained judgment against us for this amount. Although that situation was subsequently resolved, I remained fearful about a number of things. These included finding a new job, since following the bank claim it was clear that the firm was not going to survive.

Fast forward two years. Although I had found a new job, the problems at my last job affected my confidence badly, and after joining my new firm I started experiencing chest pains. I decided to contact a Christian Science practitioner, and after she began praying for me the pains quickly lessened.

Fast forward another two years. Although by this time I was increasingly free of the chest pains, I still felt far from at peace with the world. It all came to a head when my wife and I, together with friends, were due to fly to Norway for a skiing holiday. The fear and anxiety about air travel were so intense that even the sound of jets flying over our home was disconcerting. However, as I had been brought up in Christian Science and had relied on prayer throughout my life, I knew I had to face down the fear and go forward.

A few days before the flight I realised I needed help and again contacted a practitioner. She suggested that I work with Hymn 136 in the Christian Science Hymnal. I zeroed in on the first two lines of the first verse in particular: "I love Thy way of freedom, Lord, / To serve Thee is my choice" (Violet Hay). I was impressed with the fact that if I was going to find freedom it was going to be through "Thy way" and that I had to drop my intense self-focus. The practitioner also said, in no uncertain terms, that God would be with me as I boarded the plane, during the flight, and as I stepped off the plane in Oslo.

When the day of departure arrived I was still anxious. The anxiety was extreme and stemmed around a fear for my physical well-being whilst in the air and that if I became unwell I would be trapped helpless thousands of feet above the ground. Mentally, I felt in a deep, dark pit with no way out. The anxiety increased at the airport. However, as we approached border control, I had a breakthrough. On the wall was a huge ad for Science and Health that explained how fear could be overcome. I felt a ray of hope and thought: "There are fixed, divine laws that are always present and that have been shown to provide complete solutions to thousands of people around the world facing all sorts of problems. You can rely on those laws."

As we continued to work our way through security, I clung as best I could to the thought that God existed, that God was Love, and I could go forward. I managed—with my loving wife encouraging me each step of the way—to get onto the plane. When we were seated, I got out my Hymnal and started line by line with Hymn 136. It struck me how the author made extensive use of capital letters when describing anything from or of God. From the first verse I pondered:

I noticed I was to "love Thy way of freedom," I was to "serve Thee," that it was in "Thy clear light of Truth I rise," and—most important—that it was "Thy voice" I needed to listen for in order to hear "Thy promise old and new."

This really got me thinking. I began to move away from self-centered thinking to acknowledge the presence of the Divine in my life. It was at this stage of the flight that I felt some dominion in my thinking. I thought: "Yes, everything is OK. I am not ill, nor am I going to be. I can face down and deny the mental turmoil." After a while, I realised that the flight was nearly over and we were beginning our descent to Oslo. It was then that the total breakthrough came. With an arrival as gentle as the most gentle of summer breezes, I felt a wonderful sense of joy, calm, and spiritual light. All the tension and turmoil instantly disappeared. I looked out the window and saw below me a beautiful fjord. I felt fantastic. This feeling of total joy and peace stayed with me as we disembarked from the plane. With it came a feeling of unconditional love for all that I shall never forget.

I have been free from a fear of flying for a number of years, and since this experience I have flown extensively, including to Australia. I have also been fully healed through prayer alone of the chest pains. This came gradually as my confidence grew in my ability to reject the validity of the pain and claim my freedom.

At times fear does seem so real. However, I see that we can cease to be impressed with its arguments and that nothing is more natural than the joy of loving unselfishly. No matter what challenges I may face I can always love more, and this love must and always will win. Mary Baker Eddy refers to "the infinite ocean of Love" (Miscellaneous Writings 1883–1896, p. 205). I am grateful to have glimpsed something of that Love and to know that this "guard is here to help" each of us along the way.

PETER SISSON,
PEASLAKE, SURREY, ENGLAND

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