Though articles by me have been published in the Christian Science periodicals, it has been 50 years since my first testimony appeared in the Journal. So I thought I would celebrate this significant anniversary by writing another testimony of healing.
First, I can report that my healing of a skin disease, which I recorded in that first testimony (August 1962 Journal), and which a British National Service medical board considered incurable, has been permanent. After the healing, the board regraded me “A1”—fit for duty—and I duly completed my two years of service, which proved a most rewarding time.
Now I’d like to express gratitude for a healing of stammering, which I was still dealing with half a century ago. This had been a difficulty since my school days, when it was something of an embarrassment. I had to make allowances when speaking to other pupils and teachers, often having to find other words or easier ways to begin a sentence when the stuttering was evident. This did not make for fluent communication, and it prevented my participation in activities such as poetry reading, which required speaking aloud in public. I was still able to sing with ease, and was grateful for being able to take part in school musicals. But I longed to be free of this impediment altogether.
A breakthrough came when in my late teens, having been brought up in Christian Science, I wanted to testify at a Wednesday evening meeting at my branch church. The urge was so strong to give thanks for the many blessings I was experiencing that my desire overcame my fear. I remember saying or praying, “OK, God, let’s go!”—fully expecting a free and happy outcome. (And I still say that to myself when giving testimonies, always delighted with the words God puts into my mouth, some of which I know I would not have thought of myself.)
To my joy, on that first occasion I found myself able to testify with perfect freedom, and I could not wait to testify again so that I could once more feel that lovely sense of ease.
It then occurred to me that if I could be free when giving testimonies at church, I could be free all the time. That took longer and required more effort over many years. Once, when I was elected to read in a branch church, I was able to fulfill that position, knowing of God’s constant care. But I occasionally stuttered, because I still felt a bit apprehensive. I knew that for complete freedom, the fear had to be faced down.
When I moved to another area, I was again elected as a Reader. This time, as I prayed to read with complete freedom and without fear, I was led by divine Mind to regard myself not as a personal Reader but as God’s perfect expression. I began thinking of myself in this way not just in preparing for the service (which I did by practicing reading the weekly Bible Lesson aloud every day), but while I was actually reading in church.
I found to my delight that to the extent I kept knowing that truth, or some similar one such as “I am God’s unobstructed expression,” I was able to read perfectly—and with great joy. There was even a time when my fellow Reader was struggling with a cough during our practice session for the Sunday service, and I was able to help by telling her that she, too, was “God’s unobstructed expression.” She was instantly free.
Reading as God’s expression, I naturally found myself increasingly more confident at speaking and reading aloud in public, and for many years there has been no sign of a stutter. This has included speaking at public gatherings in connection with my founding and editing a local paper, and at “meet the author” events involving a book I wrote.
I have also been able to fulfill very public speaking roles as Christian Science Committee on Publication for Cumbria and as the representative of a campaign group in the town where I now live, addressing the local council with complete confidence. Nobody who has known me in recent years would ever think I ever had this difficulty.
To me, this is what makes a Christian Science healing so fundamental, that we have so outgrown the problem we forget we were ever mesmerized by it (until we are compelled to testify about it). The healing is so thorough that the problem has been expunged from our consciousness—as it has been in my case.
In this experience, as well as others, I learned the value of being patient and also the importance of perseverance. For it took consecrated prayer over considerable time to achieve the full freedom I have now been enjoying for years. I have also found perseverance essential to progress and success in my career as a freelance journalist and in my relationships with family members.
As I have put God first in my life, many blessings have been added, including right activity, supply, wonderful children and grandchildren, and many opportunities for doing good and bearing fruit. I have increasingly learned to rely on God’s laws of progress and fruitage on a daily basis.
I might say, too, that I have always felt grateful for the privilege of being able to write for the periodicals, which has given me an opportunity to develop and share healing ideas with others worldwide, as well as helping me, with the mentoring of dedicated editors, to become a better writer and communicator. I hope this testimony might inspire and encourage others to write testimonies and articles, too.
Morecambre, Lancashire, England
