“There is no WAY I can stay in this place.” That was all I could think as I stared at the pile of boxes waiting to be unpacked. I had been in this new home for all of two hours, and it already seemed totally wrong.
I had recently experienced some changes in my life and had been living with my parents for a year when I started looking for an affordable living situation in a highly desirable neighborhood. Desperate to be on my own again, and without much of a budget to work with, I had been elated when I found a room to rent in a house with four other people. So elated that I somehow overlooked my initial misgivings.
Around this time I had started to devote serious attention to the work of establishing a public practice of Christian Science healing. I had talked with a Christian Science practitioner about this potential idea, and our conversations caused me to consider whether this room was the best place to shelter “the babe” of Christian healing (see Mary Baker Eddy, Miscellaneous Writings 1883–1896, p. 370). Would it provide the atmosphere in which I could best nurture this metaphorical baby, and represent my growing commitment to being available for consecrated prayer for anyone who might call on me for healing? Clearly, I needed to find a suitable place that would provide the quiet and order necessary for this work.
When I showed up the next morning at my parents’ house in obvious distress, they received me with kindness and understanding and assured me I could stay. But I had already committed to paying rent on the room (though I had not signed a lease). Also, Christmas was a couple of weeks away, and how could I settle all of this so quickly?
Feeling at a loss for what to do, I returned to the room I had rented, and, sitting on the bed, I asked God with all sincerity for guidance. Then I opened the Bible next to me, and my eyes fell on this verse in the book of Ezra: “And now for a little space grace hath been shewed from the Lord our God, to leave us a remnant to escape, and to give us a nail in his holy place, that our God may lighten our eyes, and give us a little reviving in our bondage” (9:8).
I was in awe at the relevance of this verse. It describes the people of Judah marveling at the care God had shown them in spite of their mistakes, even allowing them to be secure and return to Jerusalem and rebuild the Temple after being exiled.
The words that spoke to me most powerfully were, “for a little space grace hath been shewed from the Lord our God, to leave us a remnant to escape.” This seemed like divine direction. I had felt trapped. But it immediately became clear that God never leaves us in unhappy or seemingly hopeless situations—even those that result from poor judgment or willful disobedience. When we honestly seek God’s guidance, there is always a way out, thanks to His abundant grace, generally defined as “the free and unmerited favor of God.”
I sprung into action immediately with a burst of unfamiliar energy and started repacking everything I had unpacked, put an ad on a classified advertisements website, and wrote to all the roommates to tell them I couldn’t stay but would find a replacement. The new strength I was feeling was an indication that I was doing the right thing.
Shortly after, I found someone to rent the room, and I came out of the experience unscathed, save for the loss of some money from the initial move.
It was tempting to continue looking at ads for other affordable, but less-than-ideal rooms, but I remembered the following Bible verse in Second Chronicles that I had opened to at another challenging time in my life: “The Lord is able to give thee much more than this” (25:9).
During the next several months, I trusted this was so and left my housing needs to God. I focused on cherishing the babe of Christian healing by devoting my thought more fully to the practice work, serving the community with the Christian Science Society I had joined, and being a more caring daughter.
Shortly after I moved home, there was a special opportunity to support my mother in prayer as she found complete healing from what had appeared to be a seriously injured hand and wrist after a fall on the ice. Also, my parents allowed me to transform a corner of a rarely used room into an office space, where I could have a quiet place to pray and talk with anyone calling for Christian Science treatment.
That summer I unexpectedly learned of an opportunity to move into a spacious, unusually affordable apartment in a beautiful area. The rent was almost identical to what I would have been paying for the one room in that other house. I was humbled by God’s goodness and care. But the time between my tumultuous night in the wrong place and my settling into the new home had been indispensable. I can see now how I had been shown God’s grace. And, as I’ve learned in Christian Science, God’s grace is always active in our lives—not just for “a little space” but for eternity, because God’s favor doesn’t come and go, nor is it limited to any one person or set of people. But when we have experiences that seem particularly difficult, forcing us to seek God more earnestly, we sometimes become more keenly aware of the activity of grace.
The Bible is full of powerful examples of men and women who felt the healing effects of God’s grace. Perhaps the story of Saul’s conversion on the road to Damascus is one that comes most quickly to mind. He must have felt God’s grace when he turned from persecuting those with whom he disagreed to preaching God’s word and healing. And we have the account in the book of John of the woman who was caught in the act of adultery and threatened with stoning. She was shown the fullness of God’s grace when Christ Jesus told her she was not condemned and the crowd dispersed.
Mary Baker Eddy, the Discoverer of Christian Science, wrote that all healing is accomplished by the grace of God, which she says is “the effect of God understood” (Christian Science versus Pantheism, p. 10). As I’ve pondered this statement, I’ve realized that not only do we experience grace when we understand God, but also, grace is a way for us to understand God more—what God is and does—and to feel our Father-Mother’s all-encompassing love. Through God’s love—and by discovering our true thoughts as inclined only toward God, good—we find a way to “escape” the traps of mortal thinking, such as willfulness and fear, which can lead to decisions or behavior we regret. In order to fully experience the depth of divine Love, we do need to have the humility to want to be free of whatever thinking and behavior would seem to separate us from God. But grace can lift us up even in our lowest moments to the realization that nothing can truly separate us from Christ, the divine nature that Christ Jesus demonstrated centuries ago.
The song “Amazing Grace” says:
Through many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come;
’Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.
(John Newton)
Grace always leads us home to the understanding of what we are as God’s beloved, pure child.
In my experience, I felt led home by grace quite literally. It was a wonderful reminder to me that whatever the challenge, our prayers for the grace to go forward—to demonstrate, step by step, what an understanding of God’s goodness brings to humanity—are always rewarded.
