Has anyone you love passed on? You are not alone. It happens to all of us. And it’s not always easy to overcome deep feelings of sadness. The good news is that even if we are carrying the weight of grief and loss, there is hope for healing. We have the divine right to live without grief. In fact, the teachings of the Bible and Christian Science share that nothing can take our joy away.
I speak from experience. I have had to deal with grief a few times, and each experience taught me something new.
The biggest lesson I’ve learned is to treat every moment with a loved one as an opportunity to enjoy their company and show love for them. Now I try to give people all my attention and live each moment fully, regardless of whether I have five minutes or five hours with them. It’s great to see a smile on someone’s face when they feel how much I appreciate them. Living in the moment has taught me in a practical way that I always live in the eternal now.
True joy is innate to our spiritual being.
The Bible speaks to me in a way that brings healing whenever I feel grief or sadness. In chapters 14 through 16 of the Gospel of John, Jesus teaches who we really are and what we really deserve. He prepares his apostles to deal with the time when he will no longer be physically with them. He reassures them that our Father-Mother God will send them the Holy Spirit to remind them of everything he said to them. Jesus then says, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you” (14:27), and urges them not to let their hearts be troubled or afraid. He says that if they loved him, then they would rejoice—which is the opposite of grieving at their loss.
In addition to mentioning “peace” and “love,” Jesus mentions “joy” several times in these chapters:
- “These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full” (15:11).
- “And ye now therefore have sorrow: but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you” (16:22).
- “Hitherto have ye asked nothing in my name: ask, and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full” (16:24).
Jesus spoke not only to his apostles but to you and me as his followers. Even in our darkest experience—when a loved one is no longer physically with us—we can be at peace, we can love and feel loved, we can still have joy.
That means that no one can truly take our joy away. And why? Because true joy, which is a quality of God, Soul, is innate to our spiritual being. We are all the reflection of Soul, and we can naturally feel the joy that is God’s precious gift to us. Joy can never be taken away, as this prayer from the Christian Science Hymnal beautifully describes:
No more I suffer cruel fear,
I feel God’s presence with me here;
The joy that none can take away
Is mine; I walk with Love today.
(Minny M. H. Ayers, No. 139, adapt. © CSBD)
God, divine Love, is with us, loving and caring for us, giving us peace and joy. Divine Love can give the ideas and the strength needed so that we can keep loving our dear one, be healed of grief, be grateful for the moments we had with them, and feel God’s uninterruptible joy.
When handling grief, I pray to recognize that there is no death, since God, who is Life, is truly All. Therefore, those who have passed on are only in another state of consciousness. While we no longer see them with us, spiritually, we all live in the eternal now. This means that spiritually we dwell in the atmosphere of divine Love, where there is no separation. This sense of unity and joy has an important role in healing grief.
We can always choose between being sad or joyful. Why don’t we choose to be joyful?
We are the manifestation of God, divine Mind’s spiritual ideas, not subject to suffering or grief. We are expressions of Soul, which is the source of unending joy. No distress, change, or human loss in our experience can affect this innate spiritual joy. It is the understanding of our unique spiritual identity and relation to divine Mind that eliminates whatever seems to interfere with our joy. An experience I had illustrates this.
Years ago, a very dear friend of mine passed on suddenly. She was like a sister to me, and we always supported each other. She lived in another state, and I was going to visit her over a long weekend, but instead I was asked to attend a business meeting, and that very weekend she passed on.
The news brought profound grief, remorse, and regret. Despite my prayers, throughout the following week I cried during the day and in the evening. I was inconsolable. Then, one afternoon, as I looked out the window and thought of my friend, I suddenly heard her voice in my thought, and remembered clearly what she had told me months earlier when I was homesick: “Leide, you can always choose between being sad or joyful. Why don’t you choose to be joyful?”
That was the healing idea I needed, and my grief vanished for good. I thanked God for having had my friend in my life, and for having experienced a sisterhood I had never felt before. Mary Baker Eddy explains such a quick healing in her main book, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures: “Sorrow is turned into joy when the body is controlled by spiritual Life, Truth, and Love” (p. 14).
When your heart and thoughts are filled with God, divine Love, it’s inevitable to experience this ineffable joy. This joy is your God-given right, and it’s yours forever. Nothing and no one can take your joy away.
