In July, 1897, I was induced (rather against my will) to go to hear a lecture on what was called Christian (or, I think, Practical) Metaphysics. I was in a condition of great mental and physical misery, and my thought being very impressible, that which was in line with Christian Science in the lecture chained my attention, for I recognize now that what was said was not pure Christian Science teaching.
After this I joined a Metaphysical Science class, and for two years devoted myself to that teaching; but soon after taking it up, a doubt as to whether I was on the right course entered my mind and never left it. However, my mental misery was so great, that I persevered, trying to cultivate "the God within." At the end of two years of hard struggle, I found I must give it up and did so". Happily for me, a friend, knowing of my dissatisfaction, urged me to take up the study of Christian Science. At first I would not hear of it, but finding that the leading thought in Christian Science is "that we live in God," not as the other teaching has it, that God lives in us, the atmosphere cleared somewhat. I sent for my textbook and began my study, determined, however, not to join any society or attend any services of Scientists until satisfied that I was on the right track this time. For eighteen months I struggled on, meeting with what appeared mountainous difficulties, but gradually conditions improved, the bonds of slavish fear by which I had become bound were loosed, and the outlook became bright. In May, 1901, I felt that Christian Science was the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, and began to attend the meetings and services of the Christian Science Society of Melbourne. Three months later, I became a member of the Society. I still had a varying and somewhat trying experience, until, about six months ago, the false teaching was overcome. I had always shrunk from doing, or trying to do, any healing work, for up to a certain point I was not at all sure that I might not be exercising my own will. Lately, however, I have been able to help others a little and to feel something of the peace that passeth all (human) understanding. So, though it has taken two and a half years to clear my mentality of that which I tried my best for two years to imbibe, I have gained much in experience, and I should like to know that my testimony of slow growth under perhaps unusual circumstances, and my slow healing, may help a brother or sister who is finding the way longer than was anticipated. When I first became a subscriber to the Journal and Sentinel, error always prompted me to hunt for testimonies of healing of the so-called incurable disease with which I was afflicted. As time went on, I learned the exceeding unwisdom of this, and now if any one testimony has more interest than another, it is that which tells of material conditions overcome and spiritual understanding gained in cases of slow healing. I began, some months ago, to realize that we need above all things the simple trust of a little child, recognizing that when our loving Father says, "Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine," we simply have to reach out and accept all, since nothing but good can come from God. "O send out thy light and thy truth let them lead me; let them bring me unto thy holy hill, and to thy tabernacles," is my daily prayer.
Melbourne, Victoria, Australia.
