As I studied one of our Lesson-Sermons it brought back to me the conviction of truth which was unfolded through my healing. I had been a sick child, and later, for seven years, an invalid woman. My hope was fast fading away; even my religion, to which I had been devoted, failed to comfort me. I had wearied the doctors, nine of whom had sought to relieve me of suffering. In the midst of every loving attention, pain and weakness was my portion. I felt I was ungrateful, yet I seemed in bondage, —mind and body. Without hope one finds this earth a dreary place, and I asked myself, "Could my God fail me? Could I lose my faith in God?"
As an answer to my cry, Christian Science was suggested to me. It was "God's hour" (Miscellaneous Writings, p. 134). My experience taught me that when the heart is ready material conditions are naught, and Spirit is made manifest to us. God supplied my need. I found in my brother's library the precious book, "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures" by Mrs. Eddy. The thought came, "Is God leading me?" I began to read, and longed to see one who could say, "I am proving the Principle revealed in that volume." Not knowing how to search out for information except by writing to Mrs. Eddy, I did so, and asked where I could find a Christian Scientist. (This was seventeen years ago.) I received in reply, through our Leader's amanuensis, a few kind words and a Christian Science Journal. As I read the missive, strength flowed into my whole being. Those words simply directed my attention to the practitioners cards in the Journal and were an expression of love to me. I was astonished, as I read and re-read the note, to feel each time an increase of hope, courage, and life. I pursued my reading of Science and Health with renewed avidity. At this time a Christian Science practitioner visited my nearest neighbor, so that my desire was granted, —I saw one who could testify through her own experience in Christian Science of the power of God to heal. I had been steadily gaining in health with my reading, and now God had sent me a friend indeed. As I sought her help she uncovered to me my bondage to belief, and I worked more and more in line with Principle until I was free from disease.
As a sense of the power of God entered my consciousness my joy was unspeakable. The first time I perceived that I was to rely solely on Spirit and spiritual means for help, fear and human will had a fierce struggle; but when I declared that God should govern me, a trouble I had endured from babyhood disappeared in three hours after my assertion of my relationship to my heavenly Father. The love that welled up in my heart as I thought of a God who is good, and omnipotent to destroy all evil now, I can never describe; those experiences are too sacred to relate, words can never convey them.
