I came into Christian Science about two years ago From my earliest recollection I had never known what it was to be well and strong, and no mortal can know how I suffered the last thirty years previous to my release from these bonds. The mental suffering was the greater, although the physical was terrible at times. I was a slave to the old thought that God would punish my children for the sins of their ancestors.—for mistakes I might have made in rearing them,—and in agony and tears I would pray to God to let me bear the punishment in their stead. I gloried in taking upon myself all kinds of burdens, though feeling all the time that I was a martyr, and ofttimes that death would be a sweet release.
I had known of some wonderful cures in Christian Science for ten years, but had not the faintest idea of how they were accomplished; I often wished for literature, but knew not where to obtain it. At last I saw a little book advertised, written by one who claimed to have been healed through one of Mrs. Eddy's pupils. I sent for the book, saying, "What I cannot prove from my Bible I shall not accept," and began a daily reading of the Bible to prove true or false what the author of this little book stated. I prayed for understanding—I was so hungry and thirsty for something I did not have. I began to see light, although I could not accept all the author said. I sent for other hooks by the same author, but each one seemed to get farther and farther away from "God as all,"—introducing breathing exercises, physical culture, etc., as helps to God's work, which I already realized did not need any human aid. The author also stated that we could still take medicine if we desired.
At this time I was still a sufferer from liver and heart trouble. The physician who examined my heart, told me to avoid all exertion, etc., as there were lesions already formed. I had also worn glasses for about fifteen years. I was dissatisfied with the statements made by the author of the books I had read, and felt that I must have Mrs. Eddy's book,—that I must go to the fountain-head to get a clear understanding of the Bible. I knew not where to send for a copy of Science and Health; did not even know the title; but Love supplied all my needs. I soon had an offer of the loan of the book. Then I saw that I indeed had the "Key to the Scriptures," and I soon purchased a copy. My diseases seemed gradually to go away to their native nothingness; my whole life was changed. The burdens all melted away except fear; that old enemy still haunted me, though not in the terrible manner as of old. I can now look it in the face and bid it depart.
