Christian Science found me in sore need of moral regeneration. I had known of it for about twenty years, in fact as a boy I attended a Christian Science Sunday School; but, like a great many other young people, I cordially disliked to be cooped up a minute more than was absolutely necessary, deeming Sunday a sort of holiday to be devoted to recreation and rest. When, therefore. I became the dictator in the matter, I ceased to attend the services, and for approximately six years I avoided church, being but once during that time inside a place of worship. Of course I had heard religion discussed to a certain extent, but I esteemed my own common sense too highly to allow myself to be influenced by any such flights of fancy. The theory of material evolution seemed to me more rational than that of any personal God who dominated a heaven and hell of physical proportions, so I relied upon matter unreservedly, and began to look to the senses and to follow them as chance dictated.
I was content to accept events as they occurred, and without question to submit to the temptations that befell and the train of ills they brought; but one day I awoke to a startling fact. I found that I was forming habits which were mastering me, and that they led straight to ruin. I was in a dilemma. Suppose I should give up sense testimony? I knew then that I should have nothing left, and yet I could not keep on living the life I had. The first real seeking for something higher and better had come, and that unconscious prayer was answered. I was studying law at the time. This particular day was rather sultry, there was nothing of special interest in the office, and I felt too indolent to go out, so I went to the bookshelves to see if I could find some light book to while away the time; but all I could find was a Bible. I had never read a chapter in the book previous to this, and my views regarding it were rather hazy, but I opened it at the New Testament, and found it so interesting that I never stopped in the days following until I had finished it.
As I read a sense of peace arose, and the weight I was carrying seemed lighter somehow; but as yet I had a very poor concept of what it all meant, beyond the history of a remarkable man, so I naturally enough turned to a commentary on the Bible. As my people were Scientists, that book of course was "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures" by Mrs. Eddy, and what a storehouse it proved to be! It did not take long to find out that my boasted common sense was a trifle too common, so common that it was a drug on the market. I found that my sense testimony was nothing but a taskmaster, making me believe in a power which had no real existence. The scales fell from my eyes, and I saw,—saw myself as I was, weak, vacillating, degraded, so that when the burning light of Truth fell upon that picture it made me bow my head in shame. But out of that ignominy and abasement I saw the light shining steadfastly; a light that was not of me, but yet was with me, pure and undefiled.
