We often hear the remark from people who are not informed on Christian Science, that it is our faith which heals us. That was not true in my case, for I had no faith in this teaching, and no desire to be healed or to live. All that I wanted was to be let alone to die, and so get away from the misery and suffering of twenty-one years. I had had doctors many, who did all they could to relieve me, but at last even their help failed, and so I sought relief in other directions, but found none. The physical complaint from which I suffered was stomach trouble, and for twenty-one years most of my husband's hard-earned wages went for medicine that only gave me slight temporary relief. Most trying of all, however, was the fear of inherited insanity, and an utter distaste for life, with an almost uncontrollable desire to end it all. From my earliest childhood I had to combat the desire for self-destruction.
I live in the country, and one day, while waiting for a car, a lady asked me if I did not want to take a drive with her. I told her I was going to the county seat, and she said she was going there too, so I might as well ride over with her. Then I told her that riding on the cars always made me very ill and I would be glad to accept her invitation and save myself that suffering. In the course of our conversation she told me that it was not necessary to be sick; God did not send sickness and suffering to us in order to make us love Him. She said that she had been cured of lung trouble through Christian Science, and advised me to try it. When we parted she gave me the name of a practitioner. That night I told my husband, and as I was then on a very light diet, he thought I ought to give Christian Science a trial; but I curtly declared that I would not, for I did not want any more ologies or isms; that I had tried them all but this, and I would not try any more; all I wanted was to be let alone.
About three weeks later my husband came home at twelve o'clock at night and found me very ill. At two o'clock he telephoned for the doctor, and that faithful man came as fast as a taxi could bring him and did all that could be done for me, but the medicine would not stay on my stomach. This went on for three days, and I was getting weaker all the time. At last my husband said if I did not consent to see a Christian Science practitioner he would stay away from his work, so to keep peace in the family I went to a practitioner, but was almost worn out when I reached there, as well as very bitter against my husband for making me do something I did not want to do. In spite of my mental attitude I kept getting better right along, and after three days was able to eat anything. I continued to get stronger, and gained in weight, until people said I looked like a new woman.
