In the spring of 1925 I was a physical wreck. As a consequence of this the ambition of a lifetime was blasted just at the point of realization, and a source of income cut off; moreover, I was heartbroken and weary of life. Having been a student of Christian Science for a number of years, however, I knew that problems are not solved by dying, but by living, and that my first step was to have a desire to live; and this called for gratitude to God for life. Now I had always considered myself a grateful person. I was keenly appreciative of the least thing done for me, and was grateful for every demonstration of God's presence and power which came to me either through my own understanding or through the help of others. But Christian Science demands more than that of those who would prove that "progress is the law of God" (Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, by Mary Baker Eddy, p. 233). I saw that I must attain to some understanding of the gratitude Jesus implied when before the grave of Lazarus, in face of that seemingly impossible situation, he prayed: "Father, I thank thee that thou hast heard me. And I knew that thou hearest me always."
It took three years of consecrated, persistent study to regain health. Most of the time I was active in church work, in the endeavor to "act as possessing all power from Him in whom we have our being" (ibid., p. 264). The love and faith, and the prayer for strength and courage which these efforts took to enable me to arise and be about my Father's business even for one hour, continue to bear fruit; and from my heart I thank the tender, compassionate practitioner who, when the waters seemed to go over my head, would stretch forth her hand and lift me up and out.
Through this testing experience I learned the precious lesson that gratitude brings healing just as surely as healing brings gratitude. Now when facing self-examination, confronting the question "What hast thou in the house?" I look first of all to see how high my gratitude registers. For gratitude is giving; and, even humanly, the hand outstretched to give is in the proper position for receiving. Gratitude opens and clears the channels of thought so that Love and Truth can enter in and heal.
