Nineteen years ago I was wandering in a maze, a mist of fear, doubt, rebellion, resentment. Being the daughter of one who delved into all the so-called sciences and philosophies, I too at an early age was poring over these, trying to find answers to perplexing questions. The other parent, like the ministers whom I spent much time questioning, insisted that I should not trouble myself with such questions, but just accept the doctrines of the church and live the best life I could.
I was devoted to my father, and felt that if I could only keep him with me I should be happy in that relationship, even though we had neither of us found answers to our various questionings. But he was taken seriously ill and passed away, —another prayer unanswered,—and years of sorrow and grief followed. Later, I married and a son was born to us, but soon he was in a critical condition diagnosed as malnutrition. At this time my mother was also ill. Through sheer will-power I kept up and was able to care for the little one, my mother being cared for by a nurse. Christian Science was presented to me in this dark hour, but I declined it, and my mother passed on. This sorrow was so great that I should have been overcome by it but for the desire I had to live to find healing for the baby.
Through these illnesses of my mother and my son I lost faith in doctors. Without any understanding of God and without any confidence in doctors, I was in a desperate condition. I could only pray, "O God, send me something that will heal this child and I will go out into all the world and serve suffering humanity, especially children!" This cry was heard and answered. A Christian Science Sentinel was given me to read, and it brought much light. Especially was I interested in the quotations from "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures" by Mary Baker Eddy, as well as two words in the title, "Health" and "Key." I desired health for the baby and a "key" for myself, to unlock the Scriptures so that I could understand and prove their promises to be true. This book was immediately borrowed from the library. As I read, studied, and assimilated the inspiring truths in this textbook, I became less fearful and more hopeful, less sorrowful and more joyful. I overcame fear, which has been designated "the arch enemy;" peace came, and through the continued reading of Science and Health my baby was healed. Many of the physical conditions that had seemed to keep me in bondage also disappeared, including one of which the doctors said I would never be healed without an operation. The operation of Truth in consciousness was the only operation needed.
