On page 1 of the Christian Science textbook, "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures," Mary Baker Eddy has written, "Desire is prayer." As I look back on my healing, I realize that I desired truth even more than healing, but thought, because I was taking medicine, that I would be a hypocrite to study Christian Science. I had a very serious illness, for which the doctors gave me little hope of cure.
A few years previous to this time I had studied the Lesson-Sermons found in the Christian Science Quarterly for about a year, and I experienced greater joy during that time than I had ever known before, in my life. Even though I had received many healings, I came upon what I thought to be a stone wall, and, instead of working out my problem in Christian Science, I resorted to the care of a physician. After undergoing many minor operations, I was taken with the illness mentioned above, which made me a helpless sufferer. I was not able to sleep at night without sedatives, and no food would agree with me. I was a slave to all kinds of medicine, but received no help from any of them, and wanted to take my life, for the future looked very gloomy to me. It was during these days that I cried out in despair to God and He answered me.
One day a friend who was a Christian Scientist called on me, and, although I was not allowed any visitors, I recognized her voice and begged to be allowed to see her. This friend did not mention Christian Science to me during her visit, but before she left I expressed my great desire to read the textbook, adding that I could not give up medicine. I shall never forget her reply. "You do not have to give up anything to study Christian Science," she said. How true I have found that statement to be! I did not have to give up anything, for good was already mine through divine reflection.
