Have you ever attended a Wednesday evening testimony meeting in a Church of Christ, Scientist, and longed with all your heart to stand up and express gratitude for a healing, only to find yourself chained to your seat by stage fright? If so, don't give up. Be of good cheer. You can do it!
Christian Science, which solved a problem for you in the first place, can solve this problem too. Examining the basis for testimonies of healing reveals a motive of gratitude strong enough to compel us to rise above whatever we may believe keeps us seated when we'd love to be on our feet praising God and thanking Him for Christian Science.
In a By-Law in the Manual of The Mother Church by Mrs. Eddy is the statement: "Testimony in regard to the healing of the sick is highly important. More than a mere rehearsal of blessings, it scales the pinnacle of praise and illustrates the demonstration of Christ, 'who healeth all thy diseases' (Psalm 103:3)."Man., Art. VIII, Sect. 24; Yet some loyal Christian Scientists may go year after year without giving a testimony because they believe they are unable to do so.
For several years I found myself in this position. Trying to get to the bottom of the situation, I searched for a reason. I found no fear of not being able to speak well. I knew I could. There was no doubt about having something worthwhile to say. I knew I had been healed. Then why the reluctance to testify? There seemed to be no reason at all. At one time I asked myself just exactly what I thought would happen if I should stand up to speak. My answer was, "Why, I would fall flat on the floor and disintegrate." And I believed it!
Finally I realized that as a serious student of Christian Science I could not continue to tolerate this situation. My desire to be obedient led me to ask a Christian Science practitioner for help through prayer in solving this problem. When one reaches this point, he is ready for healing.
A few weeks later I attended a Wednesday evening testimony meeting in a small Christian Science church. As I looked around at the congregation, it occurred to me that such a small group must always appreciate having visitors who would share their experiences of healing with them. I had recently had a remarkable physical healing, and I thought how helpful it would be if I could tell them about it. Suddenly I found myself getting to my feet, and as I did so I dismissed with a final rebuke the mistaken diffidence I had allowed to chain me all those years. I addressed it directly by thinking, "Now you can fall on the floor and disintegrate if you want to, but I am going to give a testimony." And I did. It seemed as if a great weight had been taken from me, and the sense of freedom was thrilling.
After this healing occurred, it was as if no such problem had ever existed—as if it had never been a part of my experience. And in reality it never had been. When I could look at it from this objective viewpoint, what had stood in my way before became clear to me. Christian Science teaches that the activity of the carnal mind is animal magnetism. Its arguments may come in many persuasive guises, but they are all the same thing—belief in a power apart from God. The effect is to keep thought riveted to the belief of material selfhood which claims an existence apart from God. This false sense of self had been claiming to be my thinking.
Paul exposes the nature of this false sense when he tells us that "the carnal mind is enmity against God." Rom. 8:7; Then it is not surprising that this so-called mind would resist expressing gratitude to and glorifying God, for such praise is a powerful weapon against evil. When one's thought is filled with gratitude, there is no room for anything unlike good. When timidity told me that I would fall apart, the suggestion was speaking of its own nothingness; and when I lifted my voice in praise the suggestion itself disintegrated completely.
The same freedom I proved to be mine is available to all. Do we claim our divine right to it? Do we acknowledge this divine right of freedom from fear to speak the truth with confidence and joy as a law to our being, enabling us to speak and act wisely and well?
We can rebel effectively against the tyrannical suggestions of mortal mind. These appear in such subtle ways that they may be mistaken for our own thinking, unless we are alert. But when it is seen that they do not come from God and are no part of His idea, man, their effects can be uprooted. Mrs. Eddy points this out in Science and Health when she writes, "The despotic tendencies, inherent in mortal mind and always germinating in new forms of tyranny, must be rooted out through the action of the divine Mind." Science and Health, p. 225;
Any reluctance to testify to God's goodness and love is simply the result of thinking of oneself as a mortal with a mind separate from God, but yearning to be able to express spiritual qualities with freedom and satisfaction. It is not possible for mortality to express any Godlike quality, for a mortal is the opposite of God's man.
Christian Science shows that in reality man is God's creation, as the Bible teaches; Gen. 1:27; therefore he is spiritual and immortal, reflecting all good from God. As one identifies himself as this man, he sees that he has the authority and wisdom to challenge and overcome anything that threatens his well-being or would limit his capacity to be and do good. The ministry of Christ Jesus was devoted to the glorification of God. Every healing was a manifestation of his acknowledgment of and gratitude for the power and presence of the Father, divine Love.
The Bible relates an outstanding proof of the power of genuine praise and gratitude expressed to God. It took place in Philippi where Paul and Silas were unjustly imprisoned. Their feet were fast in the stocks, and they were under guard in the inner prison. To human sense this was a hopeless situation, yet "at midnight Paul and Silas prayed, and sang praises unto God: and the prisoners heard them. And suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken: and immediately all the doors were opened, and every one's bands were loosed." Acts 16:25,26; The jailer cared for the two Christians that night in his own house, and in the morning the magistrates themselves came and released them.
When one expresses his gratitude for the fact that the bands of material belief have been loosed in his own experience, and shares the truths that have brought about the healing, he never knows how many others may hear and be freed. The foundations of mortal belief are always shaken when one catches a glimpse of his true selfhood, his sonship with God.
The desire to be obedient to the Manual in expressing our gratitude is a strong force in enabling us to do it. The sincere desire will open the way to the fulfillment that is answered prayer, and we can say, as did Paul, "I was not disobedient unto the heavenly vision." 26:19;
We may praise God often in our hearts, but to stand on our feet before our fellowmen and give a testimony of gratitude for God's gift of Christian Science truly "scales the pinnacle of praise." It is never without a blessing for those who speak and for those who hear. "Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable gift." II Cor. 9:15.
