Two years ago, a month before I was to become head librarian of our Christian Science Reading Room, I became very ill. There was severe pain in the lower part of my back and stomach. At first the only way I could remain comfortable was to lie in a certain position on my side. The slightest movement caused pain and nausea. I worked daily with a Christian Science practitioner, and right from the beginning I thought of the illness not so much as a physical condition that needed healing, but rather as an opportunity for spiritual growth. I was very willing to spiritualize my concepts and claim a better understanding of God and myself as His offspring.
Much study and prayer caused me to feel very close to God, and I began to glimpse my divinely bestowed spiritual power and dominion. I read and thought about Nehemiah and the work he did rebuilding the wall around Jerusalem. He continued to work, despite Sanballat's threats and attacks (see Neh. 2-6). I had a goal too, and with God's help I knew I could accomplish it by working with the Bible and Mrs. Eddy's writings and becoming aware of my true spiritual perfection.
It wasn't long before the intense pain subsided, although there were still stomach cramps and nausea. My feelings of confinement and fear lessened, and I was perfectly content just to study, think, and write. I felt on a wonderful vacation from earthly pressures and steeped in spirituality. As the days went by, my thinking, writing, and speaking became more joyous and grateful. I sang hymns from the Christian Science Hymnal, especially during times when I tried to walk. I also listened to hymns on cassette tapes and sang along with them. Many times each day I reminded myself that in my true being as God's reflection, I was in a permanent state of health and buoyancy.
