At one point in my life I had just divorced, ending a financially secure but very troubled marriage. I was also left with two young children to support on my own.
The greatly reduced income and my apparent inability to provide, even though I was struggling to hold down two professional jobs, increased my already intense feelings of degradation, low self-esteem, failure, and fear. Relationships I entered into out of fear of being alone often sacrificed moral values. My standard of living was at an all-time low. And there was a lot of regret and self-condemnation for what I believed were major life decisions, wrongly made, from which I could never escape. There was also deep anger against a financially secure family who offered no help.
At one point the idea was shared with me that "complaint is poverty" (see Christian Science Hymnal). I saw that I was being forced to turn complaint into gratitude. I asked myself, "What is there to be grateful for?" Finally I realized there was much for which I could be grateful. I had two healthy, happy children. I was physically and mentally capable of working two jobs well, along with parenting. There were members of my branch Church of Christ, Scientist, who served as my family. My children and I had a comfortable, well-furnished home and food on our table. The list became endless when I was willing to let go of the sense of lack.
