At the age of fourteen I was boarding with a family of which the wife was a Christian Scientist. I later learned that she was related to my father and that my parents placed me there because she was a Christian Scientist. My parents were on a plantation in Indonesia at the time and had sent me to Holland for my education. I did not know at the time that my parents were Christian Scientists. After leaving there I went to a boarding school. During my stay there I investigated a number of religions. But instead of finding relief from my dark and gloomy thoughts, I heard about a punishing God. I soon gave up the search and decided there was no God to rely on. But I never entirely gave up the feeling there was a power somewhere in the universe. My life, however, was not a happy one for the next twenty-five years. Depression and anxiety became worse and worse. Even though I was married, had children, was very involved in a business, and on the outside seemed to be successful, more and more I felt separated from love and questioned continually what the purpose of existence was. I plunged deeper and deeper into darkness and depression. Finally my marriage broke down, the business and home were sold, and the family seemed divided. Also, I was constantly sick. I found myself in a life-threatening crisis. The doctors put me on antidepressant medication, and I was told I was a chronic depressive. During this time both my parents kept giving me Christian Science literature, and slowly I started reading an article here and there. I will always be grateful to my parents for continuing to give me this literature. I started to discover God as Love, Truth, Life, Spirit, Soul, Mind, and Principle. During this time the twenty-third Psalm was a lifesaver.
Now, a dozen or so years later, I can truly say I am a different person. I have joy, purpose, and direction. I am a better mother, grandmother, friend, church member. And although there are many areas in my life I need to work on still, I know with God's help there are no limits to my progress.
During times of discouragement, I often recall healings when I have experienced God's loving presence. I would like to share two of these.
