My prayers about parenting

When I was a little girl, my mom and dad taught me a much-loved bedtime prayer, and we recited it together every night throughout my childhood. It goes like this:

The author of the prayer is Mary Baker Eddy, the Discoverer and Founder of Christian Science. From childhood she had a deep love for God and the Bible, and many times throughout her writings she uses both Father and Mother to describe the nature of God. In her seminal work, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, she writes, “Father-Mother is the name for Deity, which indicates His tender relationship to His spiritual creation” (p. 332). 

The concept of God as Father-Mother and as totally good was the foundation of my childhood. Growing up attending a Christian Science Sunday School, I learned that understanding God as Father shows us how God’s power guides, strengthens, governs, supplies. In understanding God as Mother, I saw that God’s love comforts, cares, and inspires. From studying Jesus’ healings and those of his disciples, I learned that God is both compassionate and a source of strength. 

That, in turn, helped me see that I was a child of God, not the offspring of human parents. This insight brought with it wonderful physical healings, direction when decision-making was necessary, and a solid sense of my identity. It also enabled me to feel joy and peace when, at the age of sixteen, I chose to go to a boarding school halfway across the country. I didn’t feel lonely or homesick, because I knew our ever-present Father-Mother God was always at my side.

Later, when I became engaged to a man with two young children, I felt some apprehension, wondering whether they would accept me once their dad and I were married. I wanted to be the perfect stepmother, and I even read some books and articles about stepparenting. But it wasn’t long into my research before I reminded myself that there is only one Father-Mother, that I reflect this Father-Motherhood, and that in reality God’s children—all of us—are governed by God, not by human parents, biological or step.

During our engagement, my prayerful study on this subject led me to this instruction in Science and Health: “To attend properly the birth of the new child, or divine idea, you should so detach mortal thought from its material conceptions, that the birth will be natural and safe. . . . The new idea, conceived and born of Truth and Love, is clad in white garments. Its beginning will be meek, its growth sturdy, and its maturity undecaying” (p. 463).

While I was not physically giving birth, the children’s entrance into my life, and mine into theirs, was definitely a new beginning for all of us. I felt absolutely sure that this “new idea,” this new family unit, was governed completely by Truth and Love, or God, because both my fiancé and I had been praying about companionship. This is what had led us to meet in the first place, so I felt confident that all aspects of the union were supported by a deep desire to look to and lean on divine Love. My motive to rely on Love and to be a blessing was pure—“clad in white garments”—and I was certain the blessing included a happy experience for the children.

In reality God’s children—all of us—are governed by God, not by human parents, biological or step.

I also had a deep desire for harmony between us and my husband’s former wife, who lived in the same town. My daily prayers included seeing each one involved as the reflection of divine Love alone, as my husband and I wanted the children to have easy and comfortable transitions as they moved from house to house.

That proved to be the case. The children accepted me immediately, and they had harmonious experiences as they transitioned from one family unit to another. They treated me with respect and loving affection, and I did the same. I cared for them as if they were my own children. 

Not a parenting book, but the growing understanding of God as both their Father and their Mother, helped to release me from any feelings of rejection or inadequacy. This understanding also freed me from any false sense of personal responsibility. I knew that the most loving thing I could do was understand that God is the divine Parent of all, constantly caring for each of His children, and let that guide me in my moment-by-moment parenting, even when there was discord or contention within the family, or when the children experienced physical problems. Prayer was always the basis for working through these challenges. 

The one supreme Father-Mother God embraces every child.

Healings included those of tooth extractions, measles, and various sports injuries. Each time I would turn again to the Father-Mother God that was governing, comforting, and healing the children. I knew that all-powerful, ever-present divine Mind, not a human being, was in control of their welfare. What a blessing it was to witness their greater understanding of and love for God as healing unfolded and those challenges turned into opportunities to witness God’s love in action.

Today, my stepchildren are grown with lives and families of their own. The relationship my husband and I have with their mother continues to be loving and respectful, to the point that we even spend holidays together. Those times are natural and normal.

Everyone, whether they have children in their lives or not, can trust and acknowledge that the one supreme Father-Mother God embraces every child, guides everyone raising children, supports parents who have lost children, encourages those wanting children. 

In that spirit, this poem, found in the Christian Science Hymnal: Hymns 430–603, is my prayer for my children, and for all the children of the world: