In this Sentinel Watch podcast adapted for print, Tony Lobl talks with George Nutwell, a Christian Science practitioner from Houston, Texas. Carlos Machado, a member of the Sentinel Watch staff, also joins in. To hear the entire podcast, visit cssentinel.com/healing-anger-hate.
Tony Lobl: We’re going to talk about being prone to anger or violence. Obviously, the topic can apply to everyone. We want to give this some thought because of what generally goes on in the news. On Sentinel Watch, we’re going to be looking at it from a slightly different perspective.
Carlos Machado: One of the things I’ve been thinking about in preparation for this conversation is that society seems to encourage violence, at least on some level, particularly in men—whether it involves the need to fight in a war, or living in neighborhoods overrun with gang violence, or even the fighting we see in some sports and entertainment. Add to that the fact that we seem to be in a time where people who are under stress express anger toward others openly and more frequently; it seems like we have a recipe for disaster. Some not only think that violence is OK, but also feel encouraged to partake in it.
Tony: George, how much of that resonates with you? Do you have a perspective on this?
George Nutwell: Actually, for five years after I retired from the US State Department, I was a Christian Science chaplain in a large county jail. I went a couple of times a week. I can’t think of an issue that was more important to the inmates and to our discussions, than how they could move forward in their lives without anger, revenge, and violence. It really pushed me to dig deep into my study of the Bible and Christian Science—and to look back at my life, things from my childhood, things during my career, that I could use and share with these men who were struggling with this question of how to heal anger and hate.
Tony: Was there anything in your career that brought you face to face with that question?
George: When I was in a war zone in the Middle East, and responsible for the security of a US Embassy, we were attacked daily by rockets and other kinds of weapons. I prayed to feel God’s protection, and I felt protected and had several very close calls. But the attacks continued over months. I think there were about fifty rocket attacks on us during that time. I was really searching for how to pray about this.
One day, I opened my Bible to the Sermon on the Mount, where Jesus is talking about praying for our enemies (see Matthew 5:44). I was thinking that I’d prayed a lot for myself and for other people, but I’d never prayed for my enemies. So I decided from that day on, I was going to start praying for the people firing the rockets, who were attacking us in a very violent way. I started to pray, knowing that they too were children of God, loved by God and embraced, just as we were, by the love of God. Within a couple of weeks, the rocket attacks stopped. That was it for the rest of the time I was there.
Something that I shared with the people in jail is that when Jesus was teaching, he wasn’t just offering advice or nice things that we can do. He was offering spiritual laws that enable us to be in harmony with our fellow man.
In one case, there was a man who came to me and said he had so much anger inside. When he got out, he wanted to get even with the people that he said had caused him to be there and brought great unhappiness in his life. But he didn’t want to be that way. And I recalled my experience. I showed him in the Bible where Jesus said we should pray for our enemies. I said, “Try this. Start praying daily for anybody you can think of that has done you wrong, betrayed you, hurt you, offended you, any of those things. Start praying for them daily.” I offered some of the ideas about how I had prayed about it.
He told me later that, at first, his heart really wasn’t in it, but he figured that I was coming to visit of my own time and energy, so the least he could do was to try. For the next two weeks, he did that every day.
When I went back and saw him, he said he had the most wonderful news to share with me. He told me it wasn’t easy at first, but over the course of time he started to feel like his heart really wanted those people to be blessed.
He said, “These are some of the things that happened to me—I had a lot of pain in my head and my neck and it’s gone. I’ve not been in communication with family and friends, but now I’ve started getting letters, people are answering my calls—they want to come visit me. It’s really like my whole life is coming back together.” But that wasn’t the end of it. About a month or so went by, and he told me he had to have a medical exam for a disease that he’d had for some years; and the doctor said that it was gone.
He realized that in that activity of praying for his perceived enemies, he found healing for himself—not just of anger, but of all these other things. Once again, I realized it’s a divine spiritual law, and it has good results when we follow it.
Tony: I love the respect that made him do what you’d recommended. It’s so easy to get caught up in thinking that this is a violent and angry man. But actually, there’s no one who doesn’t have beautiful qualities that we can see in them.
George: As a Christian Science practitioner, I’ve gotten calls for help, and usually it’s about some type of physical problem, but it doesn’t take long to find out that the person often has anger about something in the news, a political issue, relationships, etc. Maybe about ongoing world events. When they start praying for people, seeing people as children of God, anger starts to disappear. And at the same time, the physical problem disappears.
Tony: We’ve all got to be aware of our thoughts, because there are many kinds of thoughts that blind us. They obscure a true view of ourselves and make us believe that we are something different, when ultimately, we’re all children of God. Ultimately, we’re not violent or angry. That’s not a part of the job description of being a child of God. But we need to see ourselves through a different lens, don’t we?
George: You know, one thing that we talked a lot about is meekness. A lot of people’s first reaction is that meekness is weakness. Actually, meekness is not weakness. The Bible says that Moses and Jesus were meek. These are two strong people who were faithful to God and had power to change the world and affect millions of people. Obviously, they were not weak people.
So, what is meekness? Something that came to me through my study is that meekness is not being offended. And why was Christ Jesus not offended? Because he knew who he was. He knew he was the Son of God, the image of God. If you don’t know who you are, then you’re constantly trying to defend who you think you are. If we know who we are, if we know we’re children of God, it is a wonderful thing—a wonderful truth. Well, if it’s true, then all this other stuff is unimportant. Who cares if someone says you’re something that you’re not? It’s that real true spiritual identity that enables one to be meek.
In the very beginning of the Bible in Genesis, it says that God gave man dominion over the earth. I realized that dominion comes from knowing who we are. That’s what we would spend a lot of time talking about when I’d visit the jail.
As these guys started to get that stronger sense of their true spiritual identity, I could see them becoming meeker. They weren’t bothered by things that were being said about them or to them. In an article titled “Taking Offense,” which is included in Mary Baker Eddy’s Miscellaneous Writings 1883–1896, it says: “Then, we should go forth into life with the smallest expectations, but with the largest patience; with a keen relish for and appreciation of everything beautiful, great, and good, but with a temper so genial that the friction of the world shall not wear upon our sensibilities; with an equanimity so settled that no passing breath nor accidental disturbance shall agitate or ruffle it; with a charity broad enough to cover the whole world’s evil, and sweet enough to neutralize what is bitter in it,—determined not to be offended when no wrong is meant, nor even when it is, unless the offense be against God.
“Nothing short of our own errors should offend us” (p. 224).
I just love that because isn’t taking offense where anger comes from? Taking offense at something someone said or did, or something that happens. But if we know we’re the children of God, we don’t need to be offended. And we can be at peace and in harmony with everyone else.
Tony: Just to put one point on the table, when we said man has dominion, that means all of us—men, women, and children.
George: Right, generic man.
Tony: A lot of people would say we’re the children of God. But there are a lot of different ideas of what God is. So can we define God a bit more?
George: Well, you know, in First John, it says, “God is love.” If that’s who God is, then that means that’s where we come from—from divine Love. Mrs. Eddy defines man as the idea, the image, of Love. If we’re the image of Love, then that’s our identity. That’s what we’re made of, that’s how we act and think. That’s how we live.
Jesus is the best example—the example I used in working in the jail. On the cross, he said, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). That love just flowed from him because it was his identity and he knew it. That was the source of his meekness, his true strength.
Carlos: George, I’m seeing the practicality of Jesus and Moses as models for us to follow. I’m thinking, though, about the person who hears that and says, “That’s great, but there’s a big gulf between them and me and the things that I’ve done, or the circumstances that I’m in.”
Tony: Moses killed a man out of anger. Then you have to ask yourself, “How did Moses turn his life around?” In the Bible, he has to flee from a comfortable life in Egypt, and ends up as a shepherd in Midian. There’s a long time where he has to live with his thoughts. But he’s also living with, I think, a growing sense of the reality of God. Then he has this moment—spiritual growth leads to a moment where you see something much more clearly—and he saw a bush burning, but the bush wasn’t consumed by the fire. He had a real conscious experience of the reality of God. He saw that God is the great I AM. That’s really saying he went from a human sense of ego to a recognition that God is the one Ego, the divine Mind. From that we learn what our own spiritual identity is. In Moses’ case, that empowered him to go back to Egypt and lead the children of Israel out of slavery into freedom. And that understanding of God, the source of our identity, can shift for any of us.
Carlos: I love that because it seems so relatable to me. Like you said, Moses is able to deliver a whole people from bondage, which is such a show of strength, but really comes through a recognition that that strength isn’t his at all. It comes from God. He was following God’s direction.
George: Jesus said, “I can of mine own self do nothing” (John 5:30). That’s really what Moses was demonstrating. He was reflecting God. In jail, we brought up Moses a lot, because if Moses, who killed somebody, was able to turn his life around, it was very inspiring to people who had committed very serious or violent crimes. And they felt that they could turn their lives around, too.
Tony: We really have a right to lay anger aside, because it’s not who we are as the image and likeness of God. And you have an example, George?
George: Yes. Recently, I’d gotten a new computer. And in the process I needed online assistance to upload some software. So I went through the contact number and got through to two people who were working with me to help do it. In the process, I had to allow them to take control of my computer. Everything went fine.
Then about a month later, I got a call, and the people that were talking to me sounded just like the people I’d spoken to before. They knew everything about that exchange and transaction. So I believed they were the same people. But it turns out they weren’t. I didn’t quite realize it until I’d already given them control over my computer. The alarm bells went off when they started to ask me where my financial and banking information was on the computer. Fortunately, I didn’t have any on it. But that then led to the next part of their con or scheme. They said, “Well, you’re going to pay us or we’re not going to let you get back into your computer.”
I realized this was going to require a spiritual solution. So I mentioned to one of the guys that I’m a Christian chaplain and I work in the jails with people who have done things that are illegal, and I teach them and show them how they can overcome their criminal activities and how they can find a better way. And I said, “I think this might be one of those opportunities, too.”
I asked the man, “Do you believe in God, or are you a Christian?” He said, “Actually, I am a Christian.” And I said, “I’m sure you believe in Jesus Christ and you believe in forgiveness. And you believe in love and loving your enemies.” He said, “Yeah, I do.” I said to him, “I forgive you for what you’re doing. And I love you; you’re a child of God. Whatever happens with this transaction here doesn’t matter. I still know that that’s who you are.”
It became quiet on the other end of the phone. And then he said he was really not in a position to talk because these calls are monitored. At that point we both agreed to hang up. But I left my computer open. After I hung up, he started sending me messages on my computer, saying, “I’m really sorry. I’m a Christian and I appreciate your forgiveness and this is not who I am. Here is your password; here’s all the information; here’s how you get back on your computer.” Then he said, “God bless you, and I love you.”
Tony: What a wonderful example of “turning the other cheek”—this phrase that Jesus said, which has become common parlance. But it’s an incredibly powerful thing to ask us to do. The willingness to do that is not weakness. It’s power and it’s freedom.
George: Well, I had this feeling, that for him, it was probably going to lead him to do some deep soul-searching about what he was involved in.
Carlos: George, one of the things I love about your reaction is that it came from love; and such a love that gave you strength to see this person as your neighbor, as your brother. I wonder if you could share a little bit of how you were praying in that moment?
George: You know, the thought that came to me was, “You’ve been in the jail talking about this stuff. Now practice it.” What I was facing seemed so unpleasant, and it’s something that everyone has to deal with nowadays, right? The typical reaction would be anger. But I just heard this still, small voice saying, “Handle this the way that you have been taught as a Christian, as a Christian Scientist.” One of those “What would Jesus do?” moments, right?
Tony Lobl: I think that phrase “What would Jesus do?” is a helpful one. But the struggle is, how did he do it? I know I’m meant to love my neighbor as myself. I know I’m meant to turn the other cheek. I love that in theory. But in practice, how?
George: Well, when we know who our neighbor is, that they’re also a child of God, it doesn’t matter who they think they are. What matters is who we know they are. And again, when Jesus was on the cross, he said, “Father, forgive them: for they know not what they do.” Well, they didn’t know what they should be doing or not doing, but he knew they were the children of God. So he thought of them as who they really were. That’s what it comes down to. A lot of times we may encounter people who don’t know they’re the children of God, and they’re certainly not acting like it. If we know who they are, we need to treat them as who they are.
Tony: We still need that understanding of knowing what being a child of God truly means. That’s what Jesus taught, and that’s what the Science of the Christ that Mrs. Eddy discovered has brought to light—that God is the creator who is in and of Himself perfect. The perfect creator can’t create imperfection. When we see our own imperfections or the imperfections of others, we can question that, because that’s not what derives from the perfect creator—this God who is Love.
George: When we recognize someone as the child of God or as the image of God, that truth has power. You know, when Jesus was on the cross, a centurion who witnessed the whole execution said that surely he must be the Son of God. The centurion could see and feel the love that Jesus was expressing to the executioners. He could just feel it. Some people have thought that one of the first Christian converts was the head of the executioners. So there’s power to see man as he really is, and it does affect and transform people. It touches them in their thinking, in their heart. It’s a wonderful thing that I’ve been able to observe and witness.
Tony: George, I know that before you retired and helped in the jails, your career was in the protection business—very aboveboard and legal. Is there any experience you could share where your prayers showed the power of spiritual ideas to protect from violence?
George: Well, I was once standing outside the doors of an arms control meeting between the highest levels of the US and the Soviet governments. Prior to the meeting, there had been a lot of press saying, “Nothing’s going to happen. The two sides are too far apart. This is a waste of time.” That was the word out on the street about the particular nuclear disarmament talk or negotiation. And I remember just standing outside of the doors; on one side of the table were the Soviets, and on the other side the Americans.
I was thinking that God is in control of this. There’s one Mind. This is God’s image sitting across the table. They’re all reflecting divine Love, divine Mind. They can resolve this harmoniously; with God, nothing is impossible. I spent all that time knowing and praying with what was true about man, about God, and about our harmonious relationship with one another.
When they came out of the meeting, they eventually walked up to podiums and said, “We’ve struck an agreement. We found a way to work this out.” Of course, for me, it was an immediate feeling that truth-knowing has power. It’s not just nice thoughts and nice prayers. Absolute truth, the truth of God and man, has the power to resolve any false belief about what we are and the nature of our true relationship to one another.
