When I found myself facing a divorce and the breakup of my family, the need to understand the scriptural promise “Love never fails” (I Corinthians 13:8, New King James Version) became vital to my life. I had thought that if I could somehow approximate the unfailing love of God, I could fix my marriage and get back to the way things were before so much unhappiness had found a place in our family. But what I failed to understand was that discord in my marriage wasn’t the problem; it was only the symptom. My idea of love was very flawed; I had a very selfish, transactional sense of love that had nothing to do with the selfless, unchanging love that never fails, which I knew from studying Christian Science was true love—the love we reflect from God.
Letting go of the false, personal sense of love that I had held on to for so long was at times a struggle. I experienced deep depression and moments when it seemed that the only way to end the pain of the divorce was to end my life. I remember a point when I fully intended to do so. But as I was about to carry out my plan, I heard a voice, almost as clearly as though someone were speaking to me, say, “You are making a god out of her (my former wife).” This thought stopped me cold.
As a committed Christian, I realized I was breaking the First Commandment, to have no other gods but the one God. I also realized how much power over my life I was giving another human being. One other time I was tempted to end my life, but my love for my children and knowing how much this would hurt them stopped me.
