BIG NAMES

Some people like long, big names for their maladies. A woman came to me with a pain. I examined her, and told her that back-ache was her disease. She was dissatisfied. It was commonplace and vulgar. The lowest kind of people have back-ache. She went to another doctor. He said that her case required the most careful investigation, and was very rare; that he had seen but one other case like it, and he would tell her confidentially, it was that of a wealthy and highly cultivated lady in a neighboring city. In brief, it was a case of decided tendency to "cerebro spinal meningitis." She took his prescription, which was in elaborate Latin, paid 85, and went home delighted. A dear friend of hers had consulted a distinguished French physician then in this country, and urged her to seek his advice. This was done, and after a careful examination the French doctor told her it was clearly a case of "polarization of the cerebro spinal axis;" and accompanied his advice by a written prescription, done up in ornate technicalities, and charged 830. The lady was excited beyond measure, and regarded herself as nothing less than a heroine. Meeting her casually. I asked after her health. She told me, with an evident chuckle, of the distinguished French physician. I asked to see his opinion and prescription, which she showed me with a funny display of pride, and then asked me: "What do you think of my having 'back-ache' now?" —Dio Lewis's Monthly.