On page 372 of Science and Health by Mrs. Eddy, we read, "If pride, superstition, or any error prevents the honest recognition of benefits received, this will be a hindrance to the recovery of the sick and the success of the student." My constant prayer is so to grow in grace and understanding that I may be able some day to help others as I have been helped by Christian Science. I therefore humbly submit this testimony in the hope that someone facing similar problems may be benefited.
About six years ago, when I was at the crossroads, when all belief in the good in human relations was dormant and I was without "hope, and without God in the world," Christian Science was presented to me, and it proved to be the light shining in the darkness.
My mother's sudden passing on, leaving an unsolved "mother and daughter" problem, together with an inability to forget that last night of her life on earth, produced in me an extremely melancholy state. I smoked incessantly, and a great fear that I should succumb to what I believed was a hereditary love for liquor possessed me; and rather than bring that disgrace on my little ones, I planned self-destruction. While I was in this state of mental darkness, a neighbor asked me if I should not like to attend a Christian Science lecture, and as it gave me something to do, I accepted. A practitioner accompanied us, and without knowing why, I longed to talk with this woman again. I had never felt so hard and bold in my life as I did the day I finally went into this practitioner's home and demanded to know why women should not smoke! I do not remember much that was said at that visit, but when I arrived home I lighted and smoked one cigarette and then started on another, only to throw it away half smoked. The peace that came to me then has never entirely left me. I should like to say here that a healing of this kind is final; there are no repeated struggles with temptation, no almost unbearable longings for the forbidden thing. A second talk with the practitioner banished the hallucinations into their native nothingness. The cowardly and morbid desire for death was finally overcome when I opened my Bible one day to the words, "I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord."
