Before I found Christian Science, I was in delicate health because of heart trouble. Faced with the necessity of helping to raise our two children and also of increasing the family income by taking in boarders, I broke down mentally and physically. I constantly prayed to be delivered from my suffering, but when my prayers remained unanswered, I became very discouraged.
Finally I began to doubt the existence of God. I reasoned, "If there is a God, who is supposed to be good and merciful, why does He not help me to be healed?" So deeply was I influenced by the belief there was no God that I would shudder every time the word God was mentioned.
The doctors finally told me that they could do no more for me. Losing all hope of ever being well, I became so frantic that thoughts of doing away with myself began to suggest themselves to me until they became unbearable. This was my extremity, but it also was God's opportunity. In this state of mind I heard myself one day suddenly cry out: "O God, help me! Tell me what to do and where to go." I was much surprised to find that this time I did not shudder at the mention of the word God, but instead I felt very close to Him. I also felt very humble, and I cried with bitter tears.
