Mrs. Eddy writes in Science and Health (p. 2): "Are we benefited by praying? Yes, the desire which goes forth hungering after righteousness is blessed of our Father, and it does not return unto us void." I am able to testify to the truth of this statement. My life was abruptly and lastingly changed for the better by an appeal to God to show me the way.
During World War II our small daughter and I had returned to the family home when my husband was to be sent overseas. However, when it was learned that we were expecting another child, there was general distress. This was not hard to understand, for acute housing shortages, rationing, and long hours of defense work made daily living difficult. However, I could see only my own view of the situation, which was one of shock and fright. Feeling that I must personally prepare a welcome for the child, I applied for work and placed our names on a waiting list for an apartment. Before I could carry out these plans, I suddenly became ill and lost the expected child.
I recognized that the nature of the illness was mental, and now I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt over the loss. To my mind a child had died because I was not adequate to his needs. Counsel that this was for the best and that I must be thankful deepened my despair. My carefully constructed philosophy, a mixture of unstudied Christianity and college psychology, collapsed in impotence. The world, which I had loved for the promise I saw therein, seemed to offer no solid truth to cling to. When it was explained to me that life is like that and that to expect perfection brings only disappointment and unhappiness, I decided that I felt no personal interest in living. I had no way of knowing that it was the Adam-dream I was rejecting.
