Dissatisfaction with life, even in small ways, is a type of burden because it tries to draw us away from recognizing the continuous, loving care of God. Mental trickery such as this is only a false human concept originating in an erring mortal mind. In reality, dissatisfaction cannot exist, because the only true consciousness is the divine Mind, which constantly feeds and nourishes its pure, perfect idea— man. This Mind is God—all-loving, all caring, and all-knowing. Man is the image of this Mind, and so he can have no thoughts apart from God.
Having attended a Christian Science Sunday School, I know these spiritual truths had helped form a solid foundation for my life, aiding me especially during times of seeming downfall. Since then, every time this material existence has let me down, I have searched for more understanding of life as it really is. Each time I have replaced a false, imperfect sense of life with the true fact of being—that God is Life—I have grown spiritually.
A year ago December I was very agitated; dissatisfied with almost everything I did. Also, financially I was in a rut, having limited funds for both Christmastime and an upcoming vacation. This aggressive mental suggestion of dissatisfaction grew, but I did nothing to change it. Instead I just dragged along in the same dull routine, apparently unreceptive of Love's caring and correcting.
About this time I fell down a high banking onto a log I had been carrying for firewood. My side felt crushed. All I could think of was pain and internal injuries, and I could hardly breathe. Quickly I stated silently but firmly this line from Mary Baker Eddy's poem "Communion Hymn" (Poems, p. 75), "Life of all being divine." Immediately I gained my breath. This one statement filled me with the fact that God is Life, and that this Life is All. Because man expresses Life, I knew no evil could come into consciousness to take breath or life away. This was as far as I could reason because pain and fear of damage to myself were so strong that my thoughts became very clouded. I made it to the house, and once there I read out loud passages from Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mrs. Eddy in order to rouse thought from fear.
A short while later some of the fear was gone. I read silently into the evening, but still it was hours before I could lie down. Carefully padded, I read into the night and then slept. In the morning the pain was worse, so I let my wife (a newcomer to Christian Science) drive me to the hospital. She was very afraid and couldn't understand why I had been so adamant about relying solely on God. Because I wasn't sure what to do at this point, we sat outside the emergency ward for thirty minutes while I thought. My whole life I'd turned to Christian Science for healing. Now, even though this problem seemed more intense than any I'd had to work out before, still it was no time to say, "God isn't capable of handling this one." The final decision: no hospital.
Later, at home, my wife asked that I call a Christian Science practitioner for help. I wanted to comply, but something inside of me said, "Go on—be patient. Be persistent in this battle over evil." I prayed to know if this was human will showing itself as stubbornness, or if it was divine guidance. I felt it was right to go on alone. But my next step was backward. For the first time since the fall, I touched my side. The material evidence of severe injury was very apparent. But it made me turn fast and firmly to God. For the next two days I worked mentally— exchanging thoughts based on a mortal, material standpoint for the knowledge of man as the perfect image of God; the perfect creation of infinite Mind. I began to understand, not just read and believe, these statements by Mrs. Eddy in Science and Health (p. 475): "Man is not matter; he is not made up of brain, blood, bones, and other material elements" and "Man is idea, the image, of Love; he is not physique."
The sense of dissatisfaction from before was also becoming unreal to me. I saw that I had left the door of thought open to mortal mind's dictates, which in my case had led from feelings of unhappiness to a physical fall. Now I easily reversed this claim by affirming that divine Love supplies all joy and Mind guides, so there are no accidents in infinite consciousness. Principle structures man's being; his form is that of divine law, not a material arrangement of bones. Because of this, I realized that I could express only Truth, Love, and Life and all the good that comes from God—the all-inclusive source of good. Now, I absolutely knew I didn't rely on bones for my health and wholeness, but instead relied on God, Principle, for my being.
At the end of the fourth day while I was deep in study, I felt a few snaps in my side. I realized something had corrected itself. However, the pain was still intense. The following morning I had a semiannual business weekend to prepare for. Despite the pain, I knew I must go. The next day, while at work after the ride in the car, I was in much worse shape. Nevertheless I refused to let go of Truth. After all of my studying and praying, I knew now was the time for demonstration—no matter how long it seemed to take.
Late that morning my business partner went to cash a bonus check for us, which is usually a happy event. But this time I had no real interest in it. From this I realized that a sense of material pleasure had left me. So why not material pains too? I thought. Suddenly I felt weak and lost almost all consciousness of where I was. Thoughts raced through my mind—parts of Mrs. Eddy's answer to the question "What is man?" on pages 475 to 477 in Science and Health as well as verses of the twenty-third and ninety-first Psalms. I knew I was inseparable from the infinite consciousness of Love; I knew I was the image of Love. As these statements and passages came to mind and repeated themselves, I felt warm and encompassed with Love. Then, very slowly, the mental haze lifted, and after a short time I was back to normal. Suddenly I realized that I had no more pain. I was healed! How grateful I was! For a span of forty-five minutes I had had no sense of time, pain, or even of a body. As Paul said (II Cor. 5:8), "We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord." What a tremendous transformation! The change that had taken place in my thought was manifested in the body. The following day I had some sharp muscle spasms, but when I again denied the validity of material law, these too faded into nothingness.
After such a beautiful healing I thought everything would return to what it had been before. But this was not so. The challenges continued. About a week later I had a severe case of constipation. The stomach pain was so strong that I could not think clearly. To my clouded sense of things the frustration and confusion were so real that I knew I must call a Christian Science practitioner for aid. Her first statement to me was that I needed to let go of mortal mind and that I must be sure to give proper credit and gratitude to God. I realized then that it's not enough to just receive blessings, but that we must give all credit and thanks to God as Christ Jesus did (Matt. 6:9): "Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name." She also told me that whenever I found a statement while reading that meant something special to me, I should "hold it and just love it." This was very heartwarming and inspiring. I found two such statements in Science and Health: "Wait patiently for divine Love to move upon the waters of mortal mind, and form the perfect concept. Patience must 'have her perfect work'" (p. 454) and "Mind is the source of all movement, and there is no inertia to retard or check its perpetual and harmonious action" (p. 283).
Understanding these statements actually pushed the imperfect mortal concept of action out of my thought. Proof of this came during a phone conversation with a friend. Because of the disturbed sound of my voice he assumed that I had the flu and proceeded to describe the symptoms and effects of this belief. As he talked I prayed deeply. I felt grateful, knowing that my personal and business situations were on the right track—evidence of the all-harmony of Life. Then, I thought, "Just what is the problem?" Obviously, in reality, it was nothing. Whether called constipation, flu, or whatever, there truly is no false mental contagion able to dictate mortal conditions to man; there is no truth in the theory of pain. Within a short time the problem left entirely. The error in thought had been replaced with pure and perfect spiritual ideas from divine Mind. Again, I had felt the power of supreme, infinite Love through prayer and was healed. It was the day before Christmas.
For years I had wanted to gain a purer sense of Christmas. Those two healings that December opened my eyes to some of the truth and love that constitute this concept. What a change from dissatisfaction to spiritualized thought and real peace! I am so grateful for the scientific truths taught and demonstrated by Christ Jesus, and the inspiration expressed by his follower Mrs. Eddy, who gave to this age the tools necessary to demonstrate that all cause and effect belong to God. Through study of the Bible and Science and Health, we can demonstrate what we really are— God's man, the image of Love.
Wilton, New Hampshire
