Many years ago, before I'd even heard of Christian Science, my sister became ill and had several operations. One day the doctor called me out of my sister's hospital room and told me that I should look for comfort in my religion, because my sister would never get well again. This news was shattering. Two years later my sister passed on. I prayed to God, but He seemed so far away. He didn't seem to hear me. For the first time in my life I came into conflict with what I had learned in my religious studies.
I had been told that God sends bad things—evil and sickness—and that the more patiently and humbly sickness is endured, the greater will be one's reward in heaven. I continued to pray but, as I see it now, without understanding. Four years later my mother passed on. At that point I felt completely forsaken. And even though I didn't receive any satisfaction in doing it, I went on praying the best I knew how. Years passed and I became sick and had an operation. But this didn't help. Filled with pain, I went to work and did as well as I could.
Around this time I came into contact with Christian Science for the very first time. A friend wrote to me about it. (For this I am grateful to her from the bottom of my heart.) A little later she sent me a copy of the Bible, a copy of the Christian Science textbook, Science and Health by Mrs. Eddy, and a copy of the Christian Science Hymnal. I began to read them all. In the period that followed, I went to my friend's house for vacations, and I also attended the services at the branch Church of Christ, Scientist, there. This was to me a special time. Through pondering the sentence (from I John 4: 16) "God is love," quoted on the wall of this branch church, I began to regain confidence in the Father. But I did not yet understand how to apply Christian Science.
