Some time ago, I felt a deep desire to gain a better understanding of God. So I decided to make a study of every word that Mrs. Eddy uses for God in her writings. There were the common Biblical terms, such as Love and Spirit, as well as many original ones— Father-Mother and the great architect. Over a period of time I found my list was growing longer. I was very pleased with myself. But my understanding of God hadn't changed much at all.
When I say, "My understanding hadn't changed much," I mean my proven ability to demonstrate spiritual laws had not changed. For instance, we know that someone who studies art is not necessarily an artist. The artist is the one who actually paints or sculpts. Someone who loves the marathon is not an athlete unless he or she also runs the race. Likewise, in Christian Science, understanding is not just being able to grasp religious concepts. Understanding means demonstrating divine Principle by changing the way we live—our character, morals, and actions —and healing physical problems consistently.
In my case, I was collecting many inspired statements about God—all of them wonderful! And on many occasions I felt really ecstatic with all the new definitions of reality. But my lack of consistent healing and genuine self-change showed me that my understanding was more conceptual than spiritual. Spiritual understanding is practical, not abstract. I felt as if I were working very hard to learn about God, but was "stalled in the fast lane," so to speak.
