Many years ago I found myself extremely depressed. I felt exhausted, yet I was unable to sleep or eat much, and I cried constantly. I spent much of the day reading from the Bible and from Science and Health. I also had treatment from time to time from several different Christian Science practitioners, but felt no relief. After about a year, I decided to seek help from a teacher of Christian Science in a distant city where my sister lived. I flew there to settle in with my sister for a while, leaving my two young children in my husband's care. On my first visit to her office, I spilled out my sorrows. She talked to me about God's omnipotence and of my oneness with Him. She said it was impossible for me to lose my joy, for it was mine by inheritance, since I was the child of God. As our meeting ended, and I sat there still crying, she assured me that I could trust the promise in this Bible verse from Proverbs: "When thou liest down, thou shalt not be afraid: yea, thou shalt lie down, and thy sleep shall be sweet" (3:24). Despite our frequent telephone conversations and her continuing treatment, as well as my own prayers, the problem at first did not yield.
Gratitude for life opened my thought.
About a week later I returned for my next office visit. This time the practitioner spoke forcefully, apparently recognizing that I needed a wake-up call to help me step out of the mire of self-pity long enough to discover the freedom that comes from thinking about what I could be doing for others. As she spoke, it dawned on me that leaving my husband to take up all my normal duties on top of his own while I centered my thought on myself and my misery was not the answer. God's Word about who I was would not find its way into self-oriented consciousness. As Mrs. Eddy writes, "Whatever holds human thought in line with unselfed love, receives directly the divine power" Science and Health, p. 192). I was startled into realizing that I couldn't just sit there and wait to be healed.
