I've been asked many times why I use prayer to gain relief from physical ailments or to overcome stress or some other challenge in my life. Sometimes when this question comes up, I find that people want to know about the "what ifs" as well. They'll pose scenarios with the most horrific possibilities and ask if I'd still rely on prayer if I found myself in "that situation." However the question comes, it leads me to ask myself, "Why do I choose prayer?"
Finding a true answer to that question has required me to face myself honestly. Facing oneself isn't always easy or comfortable, but deeper investigation into one's beliefs and motives can lead to healthy mental progress. This has required searching to understand the "whys" and "hows" of the way I think and live my life. There have been numerous opportunities for me to have a "face-off" in my search for spiritual meaning, especially when I have been threatened with incurability or extreme stress. By face-off, I mean a confrontation with my innermost fears and beliefs.
At one point I had sought medical relief for an increasingly painful back problem. When I left the doctor's office, I felt total despair. I was told that I had arthritis of the spine and was becoming crippled. I pictured myself in a wheelchair with no ability to care for my child. Life as I knew it would end. At the same time, my young daughter was diagnosed as having asthma. I remember driving home and feeling that there must be an answer. I just couldn't accept that this was why I was here and how I would need to live until I finally died! It is at times such as these that I've actually found myself at a point of opportunity.
