IT LOOKED LIKE A PERFECT TIME to start a family. We'd been married four years and my husband was finishing graduate school. I was delighted when I realized a baby was on the way. A few months into the pregnancy, however, I had a miscarriage.
Through prayer, I was able to rise above the grief and disappointment fairly quickly. But then I started to worry that I might not be able to have children. So I asked a Christian Science practitioner about it. I was hoping he would dismiss my fears as ridiculous and assure me that I would have a baby. Instead, in a very loving and honest way, he admitted that he didn't know God's future plans for me, but they might not include children.
I realized that, as much as I wanted a baby, I had a greater need—to recognize a divine plan that I could trust. And I sensed that in order to grasp this plan, my grip on a personal one had to loosen. I also felt I needed a deeper understanding of creation and life. As a student of the Bible and of Mary Baker Eddy's writings, I yearned to see how the spiritual concepts I accepted as true intersected with my hopes for a family.
