TRAVELING ALONG THE BEAUTIFUL COAST OF BRAZIL on the island of Ila Bella, I stopped each day at a different beach on the island. At one, I saw a small island visible in the distance. I thought it would be fun to swim out to it, but my native Brazilian friends decided against it. They said they were not strong enough swimmers to swim that far.
It looked like a reasonable distance to me and not beyond my swimming abilities. So I started my swim. I made good progress and felt strong and free, with no sense of fatigue. At one point I looked up to see that I still had quite a way to go. I kept swimming, but when I looked again, my destination still looked a long way off. I swam and swam but felt like I made little headway. When I looked back at the beach I had come from, it also looked very far away.
Then I realized a very strong current was pushing me sideways and way off course towards a small dock and rocky shoals—not the sandy beach I had planned to reach. Also, due to the strong current, I thought I might not be able to reach the island at all—especially since I was getting tired. This frightened me, so I tried to pray as I continued to swim quite vigorously to keep my head above water. But I couldn't keep my thoughts focused on my prayer. Both fear and fatigue increased to the point that I couldn't keep my head up anymore and started swallowing water. I felt sure I was going to drown. Then a rush of self-condemnation swept over me. How stupid I'd been to think I could swim out to this island! And my friends back on the beach didn't have any idea what I was going through. Given what I fool I'd been to put myself in this position, I felt I deserved to die.
