I am profoundly grateful to relate a healing of grief that came only five days after my first husband passed. At first, I had felt deeply shocked and confused. Everything seemed upended, and a shadow appeared in my thought that was not there before.
Supported by family and friends, and the prayers of my devoted Christian Science teacher, I managed to eat, walk, and live through the day. Two Bible verses sustained me immediately when I opened that holy book at random to find comfort. The first was Luke 10:42: “One thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”
What is “that good part”? I realized it was the Christ, Truth (Christian Science), my faith in God, and my being that was untouched and spiritual, like God. Choosing these, as Mary had, I knew that I would have all I needed.
The second verse was Luke 11:35: “Take heed therefore that the light which is in thee be not darkness.” This reminded me that the light of divine Mind’s ever-presence is always here, shining in my heart and consciousness. It also reminded me to take care of myself—that I am important enough to protect, that I have a good and spiritual purpose to fulfill, and that I should not let myself be lost to grief.
My husband loved light and explored the concept in his artwork. A few days after he passed, I was walking downtown with a friend and felt the sunlight shining down on me as if it were speaking. It was clear to me that God—my husband’s true Life—had never left, so there was no reason to grieve. I walked and walked in that feeling of divine Life and Love perfectly present.
Even though dark thoughts still clamored for attention, each day felt a little brighter and more normal than the one before. I made it a point to discipline my thinking. Specifically, there were two mental modes I did not allow myself to adopt—to wish and to miss. It’s tempting to think of these as natural, but I realized they are forms of emptiness. I could not make anything happen by wishing it, and to wish things were different is not to be grateful for the good that’s always present.
In place of wishing, I acknowledged God and His infinite, marvelous work. For example, there were times I heard music that I wished I could share with my husband, but I changed that thought to the spiritual truth that divine Love was continuing to meet needs for us both. Infinite Soul is our limitless source of inspiration and artistry.
I thought of a question Mary Baker Eddy asks on page 34 of Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures: “. . . if a friend be with us, why need we memorials of that friend?” I understood that to miss the physical presence of a person is not to accept his true, spiritual identity as an expression of eternal Life. And I knew my husband would not want or need me to hold on to a lesser concept of him.
Another temptation was to think, “Just get through this and think ahead to summer; it will all be better then.” But I stayed present with each moment and was grateful for the opportunity to live and to love. I think this was one of the reasons I was healed of grief so quickly. There was no fear or ingratitude building up, because I did not try to push anything aside to deal with later. All that I did was motivated by loyalty—to God and to my husband.
As I stayed focused on what was real, there were daily revelations of the powerlessness of material thinking. I read and wrote many pages of scientific spiritual truths each day. I knew that because God is All, disease is not real; man is not a sinner or victim, but God’s perfect likeness; and divine Mind, not a mortal mind, is acting and doing. I had always felt the truth of these facts, but they became even clearer to me as I prayed throughout this experience.
Now, seven years later, the thoroughness of Christian Science healing has been proved in my experience. I cannot grieve about anything. I love, I care, I feel deeply—but there is no fear of loss. In fact, the peace that flows from my understanding of God’s ever-presence has touched every corner of my life and enabled me to be a real help and example to others. Without this healing, I could not have organized shows of my husband’s art and built a website dedicated to his life and work. These projects honor his true, spiritual nature and encourage others to feel grateful for his contribution to their experience.
I am living the promise of Hebrews 4:9: “There remaineth therefore a rest to the people of God.”
Tara Bhrushundi
New York, New York, US
