The winter of 2022 was extremely bleak for me. Within a short time, three family members and a good friend passed away. Financial difficulties, job loss, the pandemic, worldwide economic struggles, political division in my country, a separation from a dear family member, and other issues were weighing heavily on me. Life seemed hopeless and meaningless, and most days I hardly wanted to get out of bed. Although I’ve been a Christian Scientist most of my life and have had many healings of physical, financial, and relationship problems, somehow that wasn’t giving me any hope or joy.
Many years earlier, I’d read Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy twice from cover to cover, mostly for physical healing. In fact, at times I would rush through to get to the end, reading the words as if I were taking a medical prescription and hoping for a cure.
Thinking of this while lying in bed in a state of hopelessness one day during that winter of 2022, I decided to read Science and Health again. But this time was different. I wasn’t trying to heal a specific problem. I wanted to find God. Even though most of my life I had felt a closeness to God, at that time I felt as though He were a million miles away. I didn’t know where or how to find Him anymore, and in my desperation I was even questioning His existence.
