In giving my testimony I must go back to the time of the Anglo-Boer war, in order that my narrative may be clearly understood. Being an old burgher of the late South African Republic, I was called upon to take a very active part in the war. At the beginning I fought under General Piet Cronje, till he was captured at Paardenberg. From that time I fought under that good old General de la Rey, till the end.
The 31st of May, 1902, is a day memorable in my earthly existence, for it was on that day we were called upon to surrender—to lay down our arms. I will not attempt to give an idea of how I felt, but this I may say, I felt ashamed before the very stones around me. I could not look at them. I felt as if something had happened which ought not to have happened. The result was that from that moment an indescribable despondency took hold of me, and when I arrived at Johannesburg something else was staring me in the face—I found that I had to begin life afresh without anything. I started to look into the future,—into the to-morrows, the next weeks, the next months, and the next years,—but everything looked black. I sought help and strength in my church; took a very active part in it by becoming an elder, but alas! all the teaching of my church and all the reading and studying of theological books gave no rest or comfort to my troubled mind. The Bible remained as ever a sealed book to me.
The result of all this was that my despondency increased to an alarming degree, so much so that I began to feel very ill and was compelled to consult my doctor, one of the most eminent men of Johannesburg. After a careful examination he pronounced my case a serious affection of the liver, caused by the hardships and exposures of the battle-field. I had such confidence in my doctor and believed so much in him, that I could actually feel the condition he described. I took my prescription to the chemist; got my medicine and started using it. As is usually the case, I experienced a temporary relief, but it was only for a while and my despondency was not lessened.
