When I think of the transformation that has been wrought in my life through the teachings of Christian Science, love and gratitude prompt me to make this "just acknowledgment of Truth" (Science and Health, p. 372), and of what it has done for me. I have been healed of nervous and stomach disorders, both of which were supposed to be inherited. Christian Science has freed me from this false heritage, and taught me that as God's child man's rightful inheritance is health and happiness. When I first turned to Science, not yet two years ago, I felt as if I had lost everything that made existence worth while. Sickness, financial worry, sorrow, and disappointment had taken all of the brightness out of my life, so that I often prayed to die, as I then thought death would set me free from suffering. Christian Science has changed all this. It has given me "beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness." I can truly say that my "youth is renewed like the eagle's."
Before I took up Christian Science I had had medical treatment from different doctors; had dieted for years, and tried to follow almost every rule of hygiene that I had ever heard of. One of my physicians, after trying electricity, massage, and every probable remedy in what she herself called "medical guesswork," advised me to try prayer. While boarding with a family of Christian Scientists she had witnessed the healing of a young girl whose recovery she had thought, humanly speaking, impossible. She was confident that this recovery was the result of prayer, but we neither of us then knew the difference between the prayer of the Christian Scientist and that of the orthodox believer, and I thought almost hopelessly of how often I had prayed and my friends had prayed for me, and still I did not get well. As for this case of healing, we gave none of the credit to Christian Science, but decided that it had merely been brought about by the faith of some woman who happened to be unusually good and true in spite of her queer religion. I know now that it was not in spite of Christian Science but because of it, and that Christian Scientists are queer only in the Biblical sense of being "a peculiar people, zealous of good works," who try to keep all God's commandments. It seems strange to me now that I could ever have had such hazy and prejudiced ideas as to the real nature of Christian Science, but I had been taught to look askance at anything that was not orthodox, and even remember writing to a friend, with what I fear was a feeling of virtuous self-approval, that I would rather be sick than give up my religion. I have found, however, since my eyes have been opened to the real nature of Christian Science, that I did not have to give up anything good that I had ever learned, and that I have gained much more. To be sure, I lost the stern theology which had been the terror of my childhood, but I gained instead the knowledge that "the Christian Science God is universal, eternal, divine Love, which changeth not and causeth no evil, disease, nor death" (Science and Health, p. 140).
Religion, which once was a duty, has become a joy. I had often felt conscience-smitten to think that I did not really love to read the Bible, though I wanted to be good : and often it was with much reluctance that I went to church. As for the regular church prayer meeting, I never thought of going there. Now I think that nothing could tempt me to stay home from our testimonial meetings— I wish we could have church every evening. I have learned to drop to a large extent what was once my chief religious observance, worrying about my sins, and am trying instead to overcome them, and to "rejoice alway," even in tribulation. I have had and do have many struggles with error, but know that everything must work nut for the best, for we now have such assurance of the ultimate triumph of good. We have something worth living for, worth working for. and, when need be, worth suffering for. When I think of what Christian Science has accomplished in the last forty years, and how much I owe to it these last two. I wonder that I can ever be disheartened or discouraged when there is such a glorious outlook for the future. I am more grateful than I can tell for all the good that has come to me through its teachings. Whenever I am counting over my blessings to chase away the blues, first of all and really including all others comes Christian Science. Though I was once ambitious of many things, my first desire now is that I may be worthy to be known as a Christian Scientist.
