For mercy's sake, man, do not do that, it will be your sure death. Rise early, or you will be afflicted with obesity. Allow yourself a great deal of sleep in order to strengthen your body. Take cold baths, take warm baths. Rub your skin thoroughly. Do not dry your skin before you put on your clothing. Wear woolen clothing. Wear cotton clothing. Wear linen clothing. Wear leather shoes. Wear sandals. Go barefooted. Drink neither coffee nor tea (except camomile tea), for they are rank poison. Avoid alcohol, also milk and water, for they contain microbes and lime. Better not drink anything. Don't eat soft bread. Don't eat hard bread. Don't take sugar, salt, nor any spices. Don't eat anything made of flour. Don't eat meat. Don't become overheated. These are the warnings which nowadays come to us from all directions.
Away with all this nonsense. We are not sick. If there is anything feeding upon our vitality, it is this army of health-prophets, who foster hypochondria by such a course of action. Millions of people who lived before us had no knowledge of such humbug, nevertheless they lived a happy life and grew to be old, very old.
Translated from "How we become hypochondriacs," Baden, Switzerland.
