Christian Science came into my experience at a time when I was in an emotional and nervous state of mind. An operation and nine months' rest cure had failed to be of any permanent value in healing what threatened to be a serious stomach condition. The specialist who had made a diagnosis told me I should have to lead a quiet, calm life, but he gave me no recipe for attaining this state of restfulness. My life was full of fear, and I entertained a false sense of responsibility, human ambition, and pride, and was self-conscious. I had studied the Bible for years and was an active member of a Protestant church. I was truly seeking God, but when I talked with a minister of my denomination, he could not give me the spiritual help that I needed.
After several months of struggling alone and finally reaching the point where I feared a complete breakdown with accompanying loss of ability to hold my position, I turned to Christian Science as a last resort. Having great faith in God, I felt sure He would not let me continue to study Christian Science if it were untrue or unchristian. A Christian Science practitioner assured me that the basis of this religion was love. This gave me assurance, since I knew love to be the heart of Christianity and the basis of the teachings of Jesus.
One morning I arose early and began an earnest study of the textbook, "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures" by Mary Baker Eddy. The daily habit of taking hot water and soda as a laxative was immediately set aside and was never resumed. From the moment of the first reading of the textbook I knew I had found that for which I had been seeking since childhood. Fear began to abate from that first hour, and I was never again tempted to resort to medication in any form. There was still much self-will, pride, false responsibility, ambition, and criticism to overcome. As these negative qualities began to diminish, fear and self-consciousness also diminished, and I began to recognize good as God, Life as God, and Mind as God. Thus was lessened the fear that my life could ever be a failure or my mind confused, since God is changeless good and intelligence. I affirmed continuously the spiritual fact that there is no life apart from God; that therefore my life was ever good and always had been.
