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A few years ago I was struggling to find...

From the February 1969 issue of The Christian Science Journal


A few years ago I was struggling to find myself. As a boy, I had been brought up in a fine Christian family and had attended an orthodox Sunday School. From these two sources I learned to love the Bible and to believe in God. Throughout those years my father was the only member of the family interested in Christian Science, and I had no more than an intellectual curiosity about the subject.

As with many other young people upon reaching college age, I was lured into loving and trusting the world as much as God. I was attempting to work from two standpoints and to enjoy the rewards of each.

My rude awakening came after I had been in the business world several years. I was engaged in labor relations work for a large plant that was struggling with severe labor crises involving strikes, slowdowns, absenteeism, and so forth. Believing it was necessary in these situations, I indulged in considerable drinking. Also with the thought that the end justified the means, I found myself engaging in retribution, expediency, and other compromises with Principle. The condition at the plant and within my own thinking was so disturbing that I became ill with a chronic back problem. I was trying to analyze the whole situation intellectually, and this led to my losing my way completely. The verse in the Bible, "Ye cannot serve God and mammon" (Matt. 6: 24), kept recurring to me. As a consequence, I decided the best solution was to leave the job.

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