For years I suffered with deep depression. The mental anguish seemed unbearable at times. When Christian Science came into my life, I began regular study of the Bible Lesson (outlined in the Christian Science Quarterly) and became an active church member. Still, the depression did not yield but seemed to grow worse.
A passage in Science and Health by Mrs. Eddy stood out to me (p. 453): "Honesty is spiritual power. Dishonesty is human weakness, which forfeits divine help." I felt tormented by this last statement. I was striving to be honest in my dealings with others—truly to live Christ Jesus' Sermon on the Mount—so why did I feel tormented? Why did I not feel honest in my heart?
The answer came when I called a Christian Science practitioner for help. Through her consecrated prayer I began to recognize what it meant to see Mrs. Eddy as Leader. When I would feel an overwhelming sense of fear and futility, the practitioner would gently and patiently remind me that I could trust my pure heart's desire to serve only God, Spirit. One might say that in our prayer we were affirming the power of the sixth beatitude (Matt. 5:8): "Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God."
