Throughout her writings, Mary Baker Eddy advises us not to look to the human body for either positive or negative signs of health, but to know that we live in Spirit, not matter. Even though I grew up a Christian Scientist and had many wonderful healings, I always had a habit of praying about a condition and then checking the body for improvement. In the past few years, two experiences have helped me understand that "checking the body" for healing is no part of prayer.
A few years ago, our backyard was crisscrossed by several small ditches as part of a landscaping project. One evening I inadvertently stepped into one ditch, severely bending back one of my toes. I immediately declared that my real identity was spiritual and I was the reflection of God. However, the next morning I was barely able to walk, and there was pain with nearly every step. As my job entailed a considerable amount of walking, this presented quite a challenge. But having seen the power of God many times before in my life, I was confident that healing would take place.
I silently rejoiced, with every step I took, that the appearance of an injured toe had nothing to do with the spiritual fact that I "live, and move, and have [my] being" in God (Acts).
In a few weeks I was free of pain when walking, but my toe still appeared swollen and misshapen, and there was some pain when in certain positions. I feared that my toe had been broken and had mended improperly, and that there would always be disfiguration. I prayed, knowing that I was not trying to heal matter but simply trying to understand my completeness as a child of God. Although a normal-looking toe was not in itself a proof of the power of God, a clear understanding of my spiritual nature would necessarily heal the appearance of disease and accident. Disfiguration was not a part of God's creation. I had to discipline myself to keep turning away from the material evidence and hold my thoughts to what I knew were the true, spiritual facts.
It wasn't until several months later (after I had forgotten all about the problem) that I remembered this experience while putting on my socks. All of my toes were perfectly formed, and I realized there had been absolutely no pain. I fact, to this day I cannot remember which toe had been affected.
Two years later, I felt a small growth at the base of my spine. I didn't take much notice of it until it grew larger and became painful. I found it hard to get into a comfortable sitting position.
I was determined to approach this situation with unwavering faith in God as the only healer. I refused to speculate how the condition would be diagnosed or treated medically. I also resisted the constant urge to examine the growth. Instead I persisted in my conviction that because God is omnipotent Spirit, and because I reflect Him, no material condition could disrupt my health.
Mrs. Eddy writes in Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures: "If the disciple is advancing spiritually, he is striving to enter in. He constantly turns away from material sense, and looks towards the imperishable things of Spirit." As I prayed about the condition, I challenged myself to not constantly check the body to see if te growth was changing. In my prayers I had to overcome much fear, but I realized that it didn't matter what the condition might be called, because God had never changed and neither had my perfection as His child.
After several weeks of dedicated, inspired prayer, I noticed that the growth had disappeared. This healing occurred two years ago and has been permanent.
Because of these two experiences, I have gained confidence in my ability to heal through prayer in Christian Science. I am so grateful that Christian Science teaches me that I am not a helpless victim, because freedom and bliss are mine, spiritually.
Vista, California
