A few years after I was married, several serious physical disorders developed. A rash that I'd had since birth (noted during pregnancy as eczema) intensified to a nearly unbearable condition requiring bandages. My eyes frequently became so irritated that I could not see. Also, I became uncontrollably depressed for no apparent reason; at times I would cry for hours.
I prayed diligently for myself as I had been taught in Christian Science, and I had the prayerful help of Christian Science practitioners at different times. At a Wednesday evening testimony meeting, a testifier spoke of healing grief. He mentioned that grief is really a belief in the loss or lack of something, be it a person, friendship, love, health. I then realized that the depression I was experiencing was a form of grief over my seeming loss of health. As the speaker continued his testimony, he spoke of his own healing of grief, and I prayed to know that I could also be healed of grief. I affirmed that in reality I had not lost my health, for health is a quality of God, always included in man as the expression of God. I acknowledged that in the kingdom of heaven, where I "live, and move, and have [my] being" (Acts), there is no sickness; God is the source of health, and man is healthy.
The prayer and spiritual reasoning of that evening resulted in some progress toward my healing. I no longer grieved over my state of health, and I never again suffered from that hopeless sense of depression.
