The tiny ray of light, shining through my bedroom window, made it appear as though a small piece of wallpaper had been torn away from the wall. I reached up toward the spot to see if the wallpaper really was torn and was relieved to see that it was only a thin shaft of sunlight on the dark blue wallpaper. As the light shone on my hand, it occurred to me that even if I put a thick object in front of the ray of light—even a thick brick wall!—it still wouldn't extinguish the light. The light would simply continue to shine on whatever was put in front of it. In fact, the only way I could really extinguish that ray of light would be to go directly to its source—the sun.
Christian Science teaches that God is our Father-Mother, the source of man's being. And man can never be cut off from his source. Mrs. Eddy explains the impossibility of man ever being separated from God when she writes in Science and Health: "Separated from man, who expresses Soul, Spirit would be a nonentity; man, divorced from Spirit, would lose his entity. But there is, there can be, no such division, for man is coexistent with God." Science and Health, pp. 477-478.
I saw these truths very clearly a few years ago when my husband and I were contemplating the adoption of a baby who we knew would be born in a few months' time.
Even before hearing about this baby, I had been praying to understand more about being expectant, or ready to experience God's goodness. I was cultivating my own spiritual ability to express this quality. Expectancy implies a high degree of certainty. This was something I knew I wanted—a certainty that God's goodness is real and would always be manifested in my life. I was mentally preparing myself to receive what divine Love was giving and to expect it in abundance.
However, this didn't mean that I was telling God how I wanted His goodness to appear. I knew that to pray that way would have had the effect of trying to restrict God's infinite goodness to my limited perception of it, which I clearly didn't want. Therefore, I didn't pray to have a baby, but instead I prayed to see that God was always governing every aspect of my life, including the expression of motherhood. I felt that the quality of being truly expectant wasn't confined to, or defined by, the physical evidence of pregnancy. Whenever I would see an expectant mother, I would remind myself of this, silently declaring that the essential qualities of motherhood also belonged to me; those nurturing qualities such as tenderness, protection, and affection were already an innate part of my true, spiritual being, and I didn't have to be pregnant in order to express them.
Subsequently, when the opportunity to adopt came about so surprisingly, without any human effort on our part, I knew that this was the natural expression of the spiritual growth and expectancy I had been gaining. What a difference it made to be able to move forward with the adoption with the calm confidence that it was the result of divine Mind's leading and not human will.
Christian Science teaches that man is the child, or idea, of God. During this time of spiritual preparation I also prayed to know that one of God's ideas never originates from another idea—each idea has a distinct individuality of its own, which springs from God alone.
One day as I was quietly pondering the increasing likelihood of a successful adoption, I realized I was feeling uneasy but I didn't know why. So I reached out in prayer to God and asked, "Father, what is bothering me about this situation?" The answer came in a few moments when I found myself thinking about the sun. I realized that each ray of light comes directly from the sun. Rays don't create themselves, and they don't spring off one from another; instead, every single ray of sunshine receives its energy, its life, directly from the sun. Sunbeams blend to create a beautiful sunrise and provide light for the earth, but they still remain individual rays, each emanating from one source, the sun.
I was being given a great opportunity to understand more clearly that motherhood and fatherhood are spiritual conditions and that every one of us exists to glorify God. I also felt a deepening sense of unity with my fellowman.
Applying this truth to God and His idea, man, I recognized that God's spiritual ideas don't spring off from one another either. Each one has his or her origin in God. I realized as I never had before that we are each an expression of the infinite One, individual but coexisting with one Parent, our Father-Mother, God. This wasn't an abstract concept to me. Christ Jesus had shown us what it means to live the understanding that God is the creator of all and that all men and women are brothers and sisters.
All resistance to the idea of adoption melted away in that moment. I realized that the uneasiness I had been feeling stemmed from the notion that my relationship to this child would somehow be less close and less satisfying than if it were a baby I had physically given birth to. But as soon as I recognized God as the source of all, my entire perspective shifted. I began to feel a sense of privilege and awe that I might be an important part of this illustration of God's all-encompassing love. I was being given a great opportunity to understand more clearly that motherhood and fatherhood are spiritual conditions and that every one of us exists to glorify God. I also felt a deepening sense of unity with my fellowman.
As it turned out, we did adopt this lovely child in such a harmonious way that even the attorney handling the case commented upon it. To me, proof of the completeness of the healing is that there has never been any yearning to have "one of my own," as others put it.
Mrs. Eddy writes, "Is not a man metaphysically and mathematically number one, a unit, and therefore whole number, governed and protected by his divine Principle, God?" And she adds, 'A dewdrop reflects the sun. Each of Christ's little ones reflects the infinite One...." Pulpit and Press, p. 4.
We each must learn that, just like that single ray of light shining through my window, we have a unique and important place in God's universe —and only we can fill it!
Unto every one of us is given grace according
to the measure of the gift of Christ....
And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets;
and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers;...
till we all come in the unity of the faith,
and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man,
unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ.
Ephesians 4:7, 11, 13
