I Had Been Studying Christian Science for five years before I found the courage to stand up at Wednesday evening testimony meetings and tell about healings I had experienced. The first testimony I gave with conviction was the healing of an allergy I had suffered from for several years and believed to be incurable. My longing to testify was so great that it was more powerful than the fear holding me back. And besides, I wanted to express gratitude to God and give Him the glory. Thereafter I continued to give testimonies, and although I felt truly grateful in my heart, I still felt nervous and uneasy about giving them. I just didn't feel the joy of giving. I was afraid of forgetting what I was going to say; afraid of looking ridiculous; afraid of what others might think; and afraid that my voice would tremble (and it often did).
I was finally healed completely of this fear one evening at a speakers' club. I had been unable to complete the exercises that involved speaking on a topic spontaneously, because I froze with fear. I needed to rely totally on God, but didn't know how to. A Christian Science practitioner agreed to pray for me. She told me to remember that I was in the presence of divine Love; to love participating and sharing; and to love the audience. Just before I went to the club, I opened Science and Health and read this statement, which refers to divine Mind: "It possesses of itself all beauty and poetry, and the power of expressing them." The next sentence says, "Spirit, God, is heard when the senses are silent." Science and Health, p. 89. These words spoke to me with such power, I felt a stirring in my thought. It dawned on me that if I listened to the "still, small voice" of Spirit, I would be in communion with the divine Mind, and I would know what to say.
First on the agenda were impromptu speeches. I was given a topic and had to speak on it for two minutes. When I stood up, I loved the audience! I listened to the divine Mind and shut out what the material senses were telling me. Ideas came one after another; they just flowed. It was like riding on the crest of a wave! I so enjoyed sharing what came to me that I felt no fear. A few weeks later I won a prize for impromptu speaking. I have been fearless about giving testimonies in church ever since.
