There was a time in my life when I felt completely unappreciated, unloved, even unacknowledged by my immediate family. Those people to whose care I had completely devoted myself for many years seemed to feel nothing at all for me in return. I felt possessed and controlled by feelings of isolation, loneliness, and worthlessness. These feelings were so strong and so painful that I found myself wondering whether or how I could possibly become free of them.
Then I recalled a statement of Mary-Baker Eddy's that appears in her book Pulpit and Press. After referring to Christ Jesus' teaching "The kingdom of God is within you," Luke 17:21 she writes, "Know, then, that you possess sovereign power to think and act rightly, and that nothing can dispossess you of this heritage and trespass on Love." Pulpit and Press, p. 3 This statement sounded absolutely true to me. I reasoned that if I "possess sovereign power to think and act rightly," I can control what I think and feel rather than submit to the control of thoughts or feelings that I do not wish to entertain.
I had always thought of Jesus' words in this way: "The kingdom of God is within you." That is, it is not in some far-off place, to be inhabited at some future time, but it is here, now, within each of us, and we can become conscious of it. This statement of Jesus' is one of the most powerful spiritual facts ever expressed. But it suddenly came to me that his statement could be looked at with another emphasis: "The kingdom of God is within you." I saw this as an affirmation of God's immediate presence with us at this very moment. As black as my thoughts were, as hopeless as my feelings seemed to be, I saw that the kingdom of God really was right there. It was right then within my consciousness as the child of God.
