In Christian Science Primary class instruction, I was introduced to God through His attributes, the qualities that express His nature. I found them a mighty aid to understanding my true nature as God's image. But there was one quality that eluded me: humility. I knew that I didn't have it and that it was essential to my ability to heal others through prayer.
I was determined to find it. I read in Mary Baker Eddy's writings: "Humility is the stepping-stone to a higher recognition of Deity. The mounting sense gathers fresh forms and strange fire from the ashes of dissolving self, and drops the world. Meekness heightens immortal attributes only by removing the dust that dims them." Miscellaneous Writings, p. 1. For two years I yearned and struggled for humility, never feeling that I had a handle on it. There were times when I actually wept in my struggle to attain this priceless virtue. I didn't realize it at the time, but looking back, I can see that the sincerity of my quest was itself a form of prayer, and that all the while, God was purifying my consciousness. Through the ever-present, saving power of His Christ, He was helping me to unself my experience and thereby to gain humility. "The mounting sense gathers fresh forms and strange fire from the ashes of dissolving self...." That's what was happening.
The opposite of humility is pride and self-importance. These traits are basic elements of mortal, materialistic thinking. They are great obstacles to spiritual growth. They're the product of a personal sense of self as separate from God, of the belief that we're achievers by our own intellect. A mortal view of ourselves, not perceiving the completeness and worthiness of our true selfhood in God, is apt to be ashamed if it doesn't have some worldly accomplishment to be proud of. It argues for a little ego that has certain likes and dislikes. It usually has an agenda that it's trying to push forward. It wants its own way, and argues for its own opinions.
