After graduate school I hit a wall. It was like I was trapped in a dense fog. This mental confusion was so severe that I actually spent the next couple years in and out of mental institutions. I felt misunderstood, as though no one could relate to me. I lost my sense of identity, a promising career, and many friendships. But even during this time of great darkness, there was help at hand. I could still feel Christ—God's love—embracing me, shining through the darkness as a light I could recognize.
Sometimes this came as a visit from a friend or a talk with a chaplain in the institution where I was a resident. I still remember one ward technician who spent the night walking the floor with me as we shared our faith. The Christlike qualities these individuals were expressing—such as humility, love, and compassion—touched my heart. Like a plant that lifts itself toward the sun, I couldn't help but feel and respond to this light. And slowly, I began to realize that the love these individuals were showing me was proof of something bigger: the presence of God's love, which was already at work within me. I wasn't trapped in darkness, needing to be reached by the Christ. Rather, as a child of God, my consciousness was full of the light of Truth, already Christlike.
I clung to simple ideas about God.
